The power of putting yourself out there

About two months ago I started this blog and a related twitter account as a means of letting lesbian women, with similar goals and aspirations, know about me. I had some fears about writing a blog but had an even stronger desire to meet a potential mom who was looking a known sperm donor and become a mentor to a child. If you read my blog posts over this time, you may have picked up on the vulnerability I have sometimes felt in sharing my feelings here, talking about my personal life, and showing pictures of family, friends and myself on the worldwide wide web. Yet as Pema Chodron, a favorite Tibetan Buddhist teacher, encourages, I felt no choice but to “lean into” my discomfort, blogging and tweeting in the hopes of meeting potential moms with common interests and intentions. Nearly every day, I have spent an hour or more doing this, including writing blog posts, putting messages on related web sites, sending personal emails to health and legal professionals who work with lesbian families, linking with other LGBT parenting blog sites, and brainstorming ideas with everyone I can.

Having invested this energy and time, recently, things for me are starting to move and take more form. A few women are beginning to email me, I am having preliminary conversations, and others are suggesting new avenues and resources to pursue. In the process, I feel like I am having some affect on realizing my dream, not just being at effect. It is also feels good to share heart-felt aspirations and stories with others who are on similar journeys, encouraging and helping to support one another. This process has become its own reward and that's not something I expected two months ago.

I am on a plane to Kauai, Hawaii now (yes, poor me!) for a week on this famous garden island, with fun, gay married friends, a couple that got married when it was legal in California. In addition to playing sports on the beach and reading, I plan to keep blogging, answering emails and tweeting, watching Obama’s speech to the gays (tonight, at the HRC dinner on C-SPAN) and cheering the Herculean effort to create a better health care system for all Americans. Putting myself out here has required vulnerability, creativity and persistence in showing up -- the qualities expected in any spiritual warrior. And so far, this experience has been well worth it.

Aloha!