10/30/14

What a way for the Giants to win the World Series: 3 reasons I love this team


Reason #1: They don't buy into conventional wisdom about what is "likely to happen." They create their own reality, by showing up, doing each thing to the best of their ability, and having patience with themselves and the game
Reason #2: They play as a tight team, recognizing each other's strengths and abilities.
Reason #3: They are resolute.  When they fail like they did in game 6, they get up and dust themselves off and try their best again.

10/22/14

Pope Francis is changing the Catholic Church's relationship with the LGBT by forcing a conversation about being more welcoming



Also, this from Jonathan Capehart of the Washington Post:
Headlines called it a “setback” for Pope Francis that the initial draft of the synod of bishops released last week that spoke of “welcoming homosexual persons” was silent on them in the final document. But I don’t see it that way at all. The pope let the genie out of the bottle. And, as we all know, it’s difficult to put him back in once released. 
What the synod did at the outset on paper, Pope Francis has been doing since ascending to the papacy. He’s been talking about gays and lesbians in the Catholic Church with an unheard-of humanity and care. So what that the more conservative bishops succeeded in watering down the gay paragraphs so much they couldn’t get the two-thirds majority necessary to include them in the new document released on Oct. 18. They may have won this battle, but they aren’t going to win the bigger battle with this pope... 
...As Francis said yesterday during his homily, “God is not afraid of new things! That is why he is continually surprising us, opening our hearts and guiding us in unexpected ways.” By the time the bishops reconvene next October to finalize the synod document, we might be looking at a very different outcome. 
What could happen in the Catholic Church is analogous to what is happening in the United States. As I wrote this morning, in an odd way, the anti-gay political maneuverings of President George W. Bush and the sneering anti-gay Supreme Court dissents from Justice Antonin Scalia sparked a national conversation and action among lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Americans that has resulted in same-sex marriage being legal in more than 30 states and support for it at 59 percent. 
No, no, no. I’m not saying the church or the pope will become a champion of LGBT rights. And I’m definitely not saying they are going to support marriage equality. What I am saying is that by talking about the humanity of gay and lesbian Catholics and worrying about their place in the church, Pope Francis is openly recognizing them as children of God. After centuries of demonization, that’s a revolutionary act that can’t be undone.
Full article 

10/20/14

10/8/14

Quote of the day, on the importance of marriage equality

We, as judges, deal so often with laws that confine and constrain. Yet our core legal instrument comprehends the rights of all people, regardless of sexual orientation, to love and to marry the individuals they choose. It demands not merely toleration; when a state is in the business of marriage, it must affirm the love and commitment of same-sex couples in equal measure. Recognizing that right dignifies them; in so doing, we dignify our Constitution.

-- 9th Circuit Court, Federal Judge, Stephen Reinhardt, in striking down Idaho's and Nevada's same-sex marriage bans

10/6/14

NYTimes' Frank Bruni: The Church's Gay Obsession



REPEATEDLY over the last year and a half, I’ve written about teachers in Catholic schools and leaders in Catholic parishes who were dismissed from their posts because they were in same-sex relationships and — in many cases — had decided to marry.
Every time, more than a few readers weighed in to tell me that these people had it coming. If you join a club, they argued, you play by its rules or you suffer the consequences.
Oh really?
The rules of this particular club prohibit divorce, yet the pews of many of the Catholic churches I’ve visited are populous with worshipers on their second and even third marriages. They walk merrily to the altar to receive communion, not a peep of protest from a soul around them. They participate fully in the rituals of the church, their membership in the club uncontested.
The rules prohibit artificial birth control, and yet most of the Catholic families I know have no more than three children, which is either a miracle of naturally capped fecundity or a sign that someone’s been at the pharmacy. I’m not aware of any church office that monitors such matters, poring over drugstore receipts. And I haven’t heard of any teachers fired or parishioners denied communion on the grounds of insufficiently brimming broods.
About teachers: When gay or lesbian ones are let go, the explanation typically cites their contractual obligations, as employees of Catholic schools, not to defy the church’s strictures, which forbid sexual activity between two men or two women.

But there are many employees of Catholic schools nationwide who aren’t even Catholic, who defy the church by never having subscribed to it in the first place. There are Protestant teachers. Jewish ones. Teachers who are agnostic and, quite likely, teachers who are atheists and simply don’t advertise it. There are parish employees in these same categories, and some remain snug in their jobs.
“Is it more important to believe in the church’s teaching on same-sex marriage than to believe in the Resurrection — or even that God exists?” asked the Rev. James Martin, a Jesuit priest and the author of the 2014 best seller “Jesus: A Pilgrimage.” “I don’t hear anyone calling for the firing of the agnostic parish business manager.”

The blunt truth of the matter is that during a period when the legalization of gay marriage has spread rapidly in this country, from just six states in 2011 to more than three times that number today, Catholic officials here have elected to focus on this one issue and on a given group of people: gays and lesbians.

9/27/14

The must-see movie of the autumn: Pride. It made my week...



It is not often that a movie can make me cry and laugh as well as spiritually move me.  It represents so many of the things I hold dear.

See this movie!

9/7/14

I'm back to blogging, having taken a break for the first time in 5 years...

I moved this summer from San Francisco to the East Bay as well as have done a number of other challenging things, so I needed some down time to pack, think and reflect, and relax.

Here is my video of the day: from Italy, a labrador dog that can't wait to get into the water. :)

7/28/14

In praise of friendship...

“[W]hen we are young and literary, we often experience things in the present with a nostalgia-in-advance, but we seldom guess what we will truly prize years from now. I always placed a high value on friendship, but even I had no way of guessing back then that it was more fun to get drunk with a friend than with a lover. Love is a source of anxiety until it is a source of boredom; only friendship feeds the spirit. Love raises great expectations in us that it never satisfies; the hopes based on friendship are milder and in the present, and they exist only because they have already been rewarded. Love is a script about just a few repeated themes we have a hard time following, though we make every effort to conform to its tone. Friendship is a permis de sejour that enables us to go anywhere and do anything exactly as our whims dictate,” 
-– Edmund White, City Boy: My Life in New York in the 1960s and ’70s.

6/16/14

My president believes all people are equal, and will be signing an executive order banning job discrimination against the LGBT by federal contractors


Via Joe.My.God:

The National Lesbian & Gay Task Force is first with the news that President Obama will sign an executive order forbidding anti-LGBT discrimination by employers who have contracts with the federal government. Via press release:
“This is a major step forward in the struggle for freedom and justice for LGBTQ workers and their families. Now millions of people will have the economic security they need to provide for their families. Through his actions, the President has demonstrated again his commitment to ending discrimination. We thank all the organizations who have worked so hard to make this piece of history. This decision is good for LGBTQ people, good for our economy and good for America. Unfortunately, many of us who don't work for federal contractors will still lack workplace protections. Now we must redouble our efforts for the urgent passage of state employment protections and strong federal legislation.”

6/14/14

A shocker! The Netherlands hammers the once invincible Spain team yesterday, 5 - 1.



Is the one of the greatest national soccer teams in history past its prime and on the decline?  That's what the critics were wondering after the Spanish took a drubbing the Dutch, who lost to Spain four years ago in the final.  Talk about sweet revenge.

Hopefully, this loss will shock the Spanish into playing their best. Time will tell.

U.S. Embassy in Tel Aviv celebrates gay pride. Thank you, Barack Obama!

"Safe in My Hands" video and song is a moving way for Allstate to recognize LGBT pride. Thank you!

6/10/14

Tweet of the day, on the Eric Cantor loss


Behind the scenes of New York Times photo shoot with two of my favorite soccer stars: Neymar and Iniesta

I love this op-ed column about a father who is watching his 9-year old son develop crushes on other boys



"I Know My 9-Year-Old Son's 'Type': Pretty Boys With Dark Hair'
by Dave, from the Huffington Post
I went to pick up my kids from school the other day, my usual 3 o'clock date with the playground. My eldest son's teacher met me as I walked up, all atwitter with excitement. "We had some high-school seniors come in today to do some tutoring, and your son just really clicked with one of the boys," she told me. "He just talked and talked to him, and they got along so well." She knows just how painfully shy my son can be around new people and was just as happy as I was that he could find someone to interact with in a way other than hiding behind someone taller than he and sneaking glances around their torso. 
"Let me guess," I said. "Is this boy slim, dark-haired and very pretty?" Most people can't talk to people they find attractive, but my shy, shy boy is the exact opposite. 
"But... how did... how did you know that?" she asked. 
I know what my 9-year-old son's "type" of guy is. This is not something I expected to have knowledge of, not when my son was 9, and perhaps not ever. But that knowledge is in my brain anyway, and now I have to deal with it. And as much as it weirds me out, it is so cute to see him when the right kind of boy walks into his life.
Read the whole post.

How to handle the narcissists in your life...


Hepper and her co-authors asked a group of 95 female undergrads to take the same narcissism quiz, and then later to watch a 10-minute documentary about Susan, a victim of spousal abuse. Half were told to try to put themselves in Susan’s shoes (“Imagine how Susan feels. Try to take her perspective in the video…”), while the others were told to imagine they were watching the program on TV one evening. The subjects who were told to take Susan’s perspective were significantly more likely to score higher on empathy. In fact, the more narcissistic they were, the more the trick seemed to work. 
“I think what’s going on here is that people who are low on narcissism are already responding to people—telling them what to do it isn’t going to increase their empathy any further,” Hepper said. “But the higher on narcissism you get, the less empathy [you feel]. By instructing them to think about it, it activates this empathic response that was previously much weaker.”
Source: The Daily Dish

Outsports captures the bro-kisses of soccer players: I love it



Check it out here. 

6/9/14

Quote of the day, the First Lady of Japan



"There is no difference to importance of love from sexual orientation. There should not be any discrimination because who you love. I am going to raise my voice. If my raised voice could contribute to the pride of LGBT people, there is no greater joy." 
- Akie Abe, the First Lady of Japan, speaking this spring at a gay pride event sponsored by the US embassy in Tokyo.

Watch this compilation of news clips about gays from the '80s, the decade I came out. I am glad that survived it all

6/8/14

One of the greatest sports spectacles is coming this week: the World Cup! I can't wait

One of the greatest and fiercest tennis players of all time, Nadal handily wins his 9th French Open



3-6, 7-5, 6-2, 6-4

He is the perfect man-boy: a strong man with a wonderful boyish quality




Quote of the day on 'reparative therapy'

There is no legitimacy or value to this “reparative therapy,” just as there is no “homosexual lifestyle,” since being gay or lesbian or bisexual or transgender stems from biology, not choice. And there certainly should be laws and executive orders banning aversion therapy because it is based on non-science and is almost always deeply harmful to the people who undergo it.
--Andrew Rosenthal, New York Times

6/4/14

This DC-based high school principal shows his students how to live with authenticity and dignity, by coming out at the school's pride event

This is how to make an apology. And why the f-word is so devastating to all men



I am sure Jonah Hill is not a homophobe and I appreciate the tone of this apology.

Underlying this apology is the homophobic societal notion that calling a man "faggot" is the worst thing you can do to demean another man, as any school boy knows from his playground experience.  In essence, you are saying he is weak, ineffective, and not a man.  Until we change that belief about gay men and AFFIRM them as they grow up, the use of the f-word is continue to wreak havoc on the psyches of gay and straight men alike.

5/15/14

The pro-gay athlete group "You Can Play" is changing America for the better

These star Spanish players kiss after a recent victory causing a controversy. Same-sex male kissing seems to be society's edge


These Spanish soccer players sent tongues wagging when they kissed after a goal in a championship game.  I doubt that two gay soccer players would kiss on the field as a way of coming out; these boys are probably straight and don't adhere to the conventional belief that men should not be affectionate with other another.

Same sex kissing seems to be the new frontier for LGBT acceptance. While most Americans are ready to accept openly gay athletes, the majority felt that it was inappropriate for the networks to show Michael Sam kissing his boyfriend on Saturday.  Obviously, we have a ways to go before we are full members of society.

Majorities of Democrats (80 percent) and independents (56 percent), as well as a plurality of Republicans (42 percent), said they're ready to cheer on their teams with openly gay players. 
But although most Americans approve of gay players in theory, many are less comfortable with the reality. Male athletes kissing their wives or girlfriends is routine territory for networks covering victory and other sporting celebrations, but coverage of Sam's kissing his boyfriend after he was drafted has generated controversy. Forty-seven percent in the new poll said it was "inappropriate" for networks to show the kiss, while only 36 percent said it was "appropriate." Seventeen percent said they weren't sure.

5/14/14

Today, Houston is debating a new ordinance to protect the LGBT from discrimination. The beat goes on

The hits keep on coming: Federal judge finds Idaho's same-sex marriage ban unconstitutional, a gay marriage on Modern Family...



Michael Sam's kiss that is changing the world: Andrew Sullivan, Dale Hansen and Jim Parsons talk about its impact and significance


Here’s what that embrace and kiss meant to me. It meant that Sam is not afraid, and neither is Vito, his boyfriend. There are no double standards here or special exceptions. If Sam were with a girlfriend, the scene would be utterly banal, if still beautiful. It helps that they are so young – because they are not yet old enough to have their minds clogged with qualifications, warnings, worries. They just respond as two people in love. In that moment, the hug matters more than the kiss; and the faces more than the hug. Look at Vito in the video as he waits for and absorbs the news. The anxiety, the trepidation, the concern for his partner: this is what love looks like.
--Andrew Sullivan

5/13/14