More on integrity, from one of my spiritual brothers

The best definition I ever heard of integrity was one I heard the first day in Rehab.

A woman got up who was a Presbyterian minister.  

She said, "Let me tell you what we are going to do for you here.  We are going to give you your integrity back."

I remember thinking, "I don't need that.  I've got integrity."

Then she said, "Integrity means having your insides and your outsides match."

I wrote down on my pad:  "I've got a problem.  I'm a lawyer."

I realized that I had been trained in a profession which had taught me for over 20 years to never have my insides and outsides match.  I could not say to a judge, "You're an idiot," or to an allegedly injured worker who was not telling the truth, "You're lying."

I went to meet with the woman and told her I had a problem.

When I told her I was a lawyer, she said, "You really do."

I asked her what I should do.  She told me she did not know the answer.  If she did, she would tell me.  But she told me that, until I found the answer, I would never be happy.

I spent several weeks thinking about it.  And then, one day I thought, "What if I just told the truth?"

And, when I came back from Rehab, I started telling the truth.  About everything.

I told the truth about my law firm (and got fired) but that led me to start my own firm, which I love.

I told the truth about what had happened to me leading to Rehab, and that started lawyers coming to me and telling their stories.

I told the truth to my family when they were making me crazy.  That brought a closeness and honesty we had never had before and my father sharing stories that not even my mother knew, and him sharing them with tears streaming down his face (this, from a man who does not cry).

And I told the truth to everyone on my Team.  That has led to their telling the Truth to me and, as you know, becoming incredibly bonded.  It has given me a phenomenal Team, and phenomenal people helping me with the Team.

And, I told the truth to my clients.  That led to some falling away (WalMart) but many, many others coming onboard saying, "It's so nice to finally hear someone tell the truth."

And, in April of this Year, for the first time, it led me to be able to say something from the heart.

I told a group of doctors the following:

"You've probably already figured out that I'm pretty unusual--a gay workers' compensation lawyer who went to Rehab.  (And then I made a joke)  But, we're a dime a dozen.

But I'm more unusual than that.  I'm something you've probably never seen before.

I'm a happy lawyer.

And how many times have you ever seen that?

I'm a happy lawyer because I do what I love, with people that I love, and only for people that I love."

But the real reason I'm a happy lawyer is because that woman in Rehab taught me the secret of integrity--getting your insides and outsides to match.

And she was right, from that came happiness.

from an email by Phil Walker