Like any bunch of curious and inquisitive gay men, my vacationing friends and I want to know what life is like for our fellow brothers and sisters here in Kauai. So Sunday morning, in the middle of a very tedious orientation session for new timeshare arrivals like us, we googled around on my laptop and came across a PFLAG picnic happening that very day, in southern Kauai, a big LGBT event on this island of 71,000. After a 90-minute drive, we found the beach and couldn’t miss the gay pride flags waving above the picnic area. In short order, we were warmly welcomed by this eclectic group of 75, were offered generous servings of barbecued wild boar, traditional Spam dishes and other island specialties, and were chatted up by all.
Over the course of our visit, the thing that impressed me is how plugged in these Kauaians are to the state and national LGBT issues. They had intentionally scheduled this picnic to coincide with the DC march as well as National Coming Out day, secured a large article in Hawaii’s main newspaper, most had watched Obama’s HRC speech via the web or C-SPAN, and were generally up to speed on the gay news, including the latest rumors about Lindsay Lohan.:) This is a monumental change from my first trip to Hawaii in 1991, where I felt I was stuck in a pre-Stonewall time warp, with 1950’s attitudes, mores, and hidden sexuality. In talking to local activists here, it is clear that the web, especially broadband and rich media technologies, have blown open a huge hole in the closet door in Hawaii -- just like in other parts of the world.
From the privacy of personal computers or devices, gay Kauaians can get the latest news, connect and date locally, have virtual “skype sex” with guys or gals from around the world, view gay movies and other media, and be plugged into activism. Another connectivity dimension is the re-invention of personal communications, with the 20- and 30-somethings at the picnic were constantly phoning, texting, twittering and emailing from their iphones and blackberries – staying connected with friends who were either working or attending family events elsewhere on the island. The PFLAG group relies on cell phones, the web and email since there is no LGBT community center, bar or permanent meeting spot.
As in most rural places, at the picnic, I heard several stories about the prevalence of closeted, heterosexually-married gay men and women, as well as incidents of gay bashing and harassment. But most of the time, in the laissez affair Hawaiian atmosphere, queers are increasingly accepted here as long as they don’t rock the societal boat too much or too fast. Like in the mainland, Christian churches still have a lot of power here and they are trying to use the fear of gay marriage to grab for more political power.
Listening to Obama’s speech on Saturday night, the PFLAG crowd was happy to hear an American president talk so empathically about Stonewall, the formation of PFLAG, the murder of Matthew Shepherd, and the challenges of the coming out process, especially for youth. And while he needs to back up his big promises with concrete action, it is obvious the fight for equality is moving quicker than most gay men and women over 40 years of age ever imagined possible. Even in Kauai. For example, on Sunday, the highly visible PFLAG picnic pavilion (complete with a big banner) was right next to a very crowded children’s playground and family area, and no one said seem to take note or care much about us. Everyone got along and co-existed, playing their part in the colorful beach mosaic. That is progress, for sure. And the Web and other forms of media are enabling this rapid change, creating stronger local LGBT communities that are the backbone of our powerful movement. Just as Harvey Milk would have wanted it. Aloha.
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