On my way home

As much as I love Galician part of Spain, I am glad to be going home to my beloved San Francisco, a city that offers me as much freedom and opportunity as I can imagine. I can’t blame my problems or limitations on her because, at home, I am allowed to live as courageously as I dare, as big as my dreams are. This is an awesome responsibility, having to be accountable for how I live my life and, equally importantly, how I feel about it. This requires self-awareness guided by both truth and compassion, in equal measures.

After knowing Fonso for twelve months now, I am not sure what is going to come of this relationship, and maybe even more doubtful after I see more of his deep family life and friendships at home. However, some things are beyond our direct control and this relationship seems to be one of them. Time will tell. Before I left for this holiday, I asked of myself three things: 1. keep an open and warm heart, 2. to be present, and 3. to take care of myself, in body and mind. These goals turned out pretty well for me and I am feeling healed and whole.

Also, I was touched by all the stories that Fonso told me about Jason’s summer with him and at the restaurant. These stories reminded me of the time I spent in London when I was a junior in college, and how I was deeply changed by the people and circumstances I encountered so far away from mom and dad. My hunch is that Jason has not even begun to understand how working and living in Spain has changed him.

Lastly, I need to mention the wonderful way I saw Fonso and his siblings interacting with the family's kids, filling them up with love, attention and affection while delivering clear lessons on what is right and what is wrong. It seemed to be the right balance to me, providing a good, middle way that doesn’t veer off into either narcissism or materialism. Maybe that is the emotional inheritance of my grandfather and parents, which I have been able to pass on, in some measure, to Jason and other kids. I am not sure, but I am grateful to have spent this holiday with Fonso, in Galicia, and be on my way home.