It is a wonderful feeling to be a first-class American, since the fall of DOMA. Even visiting Utah this weekend, I can see how gay people are becoming more accepted

I am at the Salt Lake City airport about to fly home to CA. Twenty years ago, I used to spend a lot of time in Utah, flying in from San Francisco and spending many weeks working for a major software company headquartered here.  As one of the first "out" software executives, I often felt like an alien in this land of Republicans and the LDS, bubbling with anti-gay attitudes.  Most of the gay men I met here lived closeted or double lives. After work, I was alone and isolated.

Fast forward to this weekend, I have been visiting my retired parents who spend their summers on the campus of Utah State University, in Logan, UT, north near the Idaho border.  Over the 15 years of visiting them in Logan, I noticed that gay people are more visible than before. For example, references to gay marriage, lesbians, and campy behavior were added to the musical we saw at local theater -- and not in derogatory way.  Same-sex marriage news stories were neutrally reported in the local Mormon-owned newspaper.  And Utah State U., like most large colleges do today, has added a full-time staffer to work with and represent the needs of the LGBTQ students. Small but remarkable symbols of change, even in the Beehive state.

In the 10 days since SCOTUS struck down Prop 8 and DOMA, I have been going through a transition from someone who has always felt like a second-class citizen to a person who feels more equal, at least when I am in the 13 marriage equality states and the District of Columbia.  Mostly, it is a feeling of pride and liberation, but it can feel different and strange at times, too.  Sometimes, I feel like a prisoner who is suddenly released and is psychologically adjusting to his newfound freedom.

I am glad that I spent so much time in the past 30 years fighting for LGBT equality.  While not always easy or convenient, my activism has helped me understand the human condition more and become a force for love in my own life .  Through this journey and with the unconditional love of my family and friends, I feel pretty good in my own skin. It has been a privilege to have been in the vanguard of the civil rights struggle of my generation: creating the type of society that I want to live in and passing it on to subsequent generations of queer people.

Being a first-class American feels good.  I can get used this! And I want to extend my rights and this feeling to the LGBT everywhere.