Last night, I was so happy to get the email alert about the federal judge who declared the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy unconstitutional and barred the military from enforcing it. Positive change on LGBT issues is happening each and every day, and I am so happy that I am part of this movement for equality. It is an absolute honor to be fighting ignorance and fear on one of the most contentious issues of my lifetime. I got the news just as I was going into the Zen Center to keep sewing a ceremonial garment for my upcoming Jukai (formal commitment to living by Buddhist precepts) ceremony, which is similar to a Christian confirmation ceremony. Surrounded by my fellow zennies, ranging in age from 20's to 70's, I felt in a good company, surrounded by people who are doing their best to live mindful and joyful lives. I was at home, despite the challenge of sewing this intentionally-complex garment.
I am also feeling a bit weary of shouldering the burden of being an independent business strategy consultant in the midst of the most severe recession since the Great Depression. Every workday, my business partner Jane and I do everything we can to advance our business, including looking at our fears of running out of money and feeling some real disappointments (I believe we have had 12 potential contracts go south on us in the last 18 months, since the recession really hit the Bay Area). I have not talked about this much -- but instead have kept working. The ironic thing is that I have never been more excited by my work and felt more useful in business. Today we have an important business pitch but I won't be there because of a commitment to attend a leadership retreat. I know my business partner is going to do great without me.
I can see that my life is a blessing, but I have to be truthful and acknowledge these difficult times. All in all, I am happy to be alive, and experience the love of a boyfriend, family, friends and co-workers. I am blessed.
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