That trickster Jimmy Kimmel asks kids "what's the worst thing they have ever heard their mommy say?"

I love this cartoon character, Muttley, from my childhood

This lovable canine character, Muttley, reminds me to laugh more...at myself and everything else. He's a bit of everything: loyal, funny, a prankster, and obsequious.

The poem that inspires my life

I think often about this poem and am inspired by its verses as I approach work, personal projects, relationships and friendships, and mentorships with kids. My business partner, Jane, found and brought it to my attention, and the title ("To be of use") serves as the mantra for our strategy consulting business.

"To be of Use"

The people I love the best
jump into work head first
without dallying in the shallows
and swim off with sure strokes almost out of sight.
They seem to become natives of that element,
the black sleek heads of seals
bouncing like half submerged balls.

I love people who harness themselves, an ox to a heavy cart,
who pull like water buffalo, with massive patience,
who strain in the mud and the muck to move things forward,
who do what has to be done, again and again.

I want to be with people who submerge
in the task, who go into the fields to harvest
and work in a row and pass the bags along,
who stand in the line and haul in their places,
who are not parlor generals and field deserters
but move in a common rhythm
when the food must come in or the fire be put out.

The work of the world is common as mud.
Botched, it smears the hands, crumbles to dust.
But the thing worth doing well done
has a shape that satisfies, clean and evident.
Greek amphoras for wine or oil,
Hopi vases that held corn, are put in museums
but you know they were made to be used.
The pitcher cries for water to carry
and a person for work that is real.

~ Marge Piercy ~

The yin and yang of real relationships

In the last two days I have had the opportunity to tell a close friend that he did something to hurt my feelings. And, in another close relationship, I had to apologize for something I did to undermine that person’s trust. How is that for yin and yang of relating?

Both of these acts required courage as well as vulnerability. Something, a teacher of mine, Joe Weston describes as the building blocks of “respectful confrontation,” a non-violent communication approach that he teaches, especially to gay men and lesbians. (In fact, he’s got upcoming workshop on respectful confrontation in October.) Joe believes there is a way to communicate your feelings, take responsibility for your part of the situation, and make request of another in a connected, respectful way.

These conflicts with my friends were not huge transgressions, but rather the usual messiness that comes from egos, lack of awareness, and miscommunication. Juicy, everyday stuff. I could have swept these two conflicts under the rug, but I decided I would miss out on the chance to be honest and vulnerable. From my experience, I know that honesty and vulnerability are at the heart of true intimacy, and intimacy is what satisfying relationships are all about.

I am very much a student, still practicing and building my respectful confrontation communication skills from day-to-day. Including making plenty of mistakes. But, this may be the greatest lesson I can teach a child: modeling courage, vulnerability, and intimacy, in my own imperfect way.

Too cute for words: my friend's 6-month-old nephew

He's a big kid. And happy, too. From my recent trip to Spain.

"How to be Childlike" from Zen Habits

There is a very good article, today.

by Leo Babauta.

Sometimes I lounge lazily in bed, in the middle of the day, with a couple of my kids and just abandon my worldly concerns, and just play.

Or I’ll sit and just watch them play, pretending they’re superheros or princesses or playing house or shooting each other with stick guns.

It never fails to leave me with a sense of wonder, of pure joy, of a return to innocence and a simpler time.

As grown ups, we’ve lost this childlike sense of life. And that’s actually a sad thing.

It’s not just about happiness and innocence either — being more childlike also helps us to be more creative, more imaginative, more innovative and open to worlds of possibilities.

Consider: as children, we are naturally imaginative, curious, able to play without a worry in our minds. Some qualities of young children that happen naturally:

• they live in the present
• they have no concerns about money, productivity, or being cool
• there are no limits to their imagination, except what they’ve been exposed to
• they play and lose themselves in play
• they create with abandon
• they are endlessly curious, and ask questions … without end
• they love showing off to their parents
  

We could learn a lot from children. Sure, they have qualities we might not want, but in my eyes, they are already perfect. We don’t need to mold them into people, we need to be more like them.

We lose this childlike nature, the nature we’re born with, because of society — it has certain institutions and systems in place that beat childishness out of us, so we can be more productive citizens and consumers. I think it’s unfortunate.

We shouldn’t abandon all responsibilities, but we can learn a lot from children and be more like them in some ways.

For more of the story: http://zenhabits.net/2009/09/how-to-be-childlike/

"Children of same-sex couples tell their story"

I just came across this article from a few years back, written by the Boston Globe. It is insightful.

By Sally Jacobs, Globe Staff | March 7, 2004

When Molly Heller had friends over to play as a child, she made a lot of preparations. And they didn't involve asking for Cokes or cookies.

First, she pulled the pink triangle magnet off the refrigerator. Then, all the lesbian-friendly books and record albums had to be hidden. She scoured the house to remove any love notes between her mother and her mother's girlfriend. Just for good measure, she told her mother not to wear her Birkenstock sandals, because, of course, everybody knew that lesbians wore those. As for the bathroom wallpaper festooned with women, she just sighed.

"You de-gay the house," said Heller, now 33. "I was absolutely paranoid about my friends finding out."

A lot has changed since Heller and her sister grew up in a small town in Connecticut in the 1980s, when they knew no other children who had gay or lesbian parents. Gay families with children have gone from a rarity to part of everyday life in many communities. Gay marriage, once a distant prospect, is an imminent legal reality, at least here.

For more of the story: http://www.boston.com/news/nation/articles/2004/03/07/children_of_same_sex_couples_tell_their_story/

Singing "Old McDonald had a Farm" to Xian in Spain

I just got called by my friend's five-year-old nephew, in Spain, via Skype. It is 8PM there and he wanted me to sing to him "Old MacDonald had a farm," doing the animal sounds and all. I love how some things bridge diverse cultures and language. This bright kid is going to grow up to be a big bruiser and real heart breaker: his dad is 6'3" and mom is is 6', and he is as joyful and loving as can be. That's all I got to share today, with oink here, and oink there...

Fonso's nephews, two brilliant boys

One is five and the other is six-months-old, and these boys are going to grow up to be giants, tall and strong. Everyone in Fonso's family is built like lumberjacks, with big bones and muscles and these kids are no exception. They are much bigger for kids their age. Yesterday, Brazier, the baby, discovered that he can push against my leg, moving himself with the carriage. He was absolutely delighted by this and kept motioning for me to stand close so he can do this, over and over.

I gave Xian a box of twelve Egyptian toy figures, including Queen Nefertiti, and he was spellbound by them, wanting to learn more. What fun. Xian is growing out of his baby face into a kid's one. It is great to witness this.

The magic of mentoring girls

I love it when my ex's little girls want to rub my beard or tell me that I smell like a man or beg me to push them "hard" on the swing set or tell me that I am silly or ask me to do my special "prince" dance or ask me to read to them or get embarrassed at McDonald's when I order them a "sad meal" or ask to ride on my shoulders, etc.

These are special moments that make me smile, off-setting the tantrums, bad moods, and more tedious tasks of child-rearing.

I am came across this picture today, from 2 years ago, and it reminds me of the magic of little girls.:)