For me, if you legislate against us during the day and have a gay life at night, you are causing great harm to the gay people who you date/have sex as well as the LGBT community. In essence, you are agreeing with the churches and other forces of gay oppression that we are second-class citizens, not good enough for society. That we are shameful and disordered.
I agree with Dan Savage and Mike Rogers on this subject: first and foremost, we should out anti-gay, closeted political leaders to protect our own rights. And in the process, we are not hurting them -- we are simply telling the truth and setting everyone free. (BTW, most of these outed politicians like their lives more once they admit who they are...but is not our business.)