Tragedy upon tragedy: A dad who was walking across America for his teen gay son who committed suicide is killed by a car

From the Gay Star News: 

The father who was walking across America to raise awareness for his gay son who committed suicide has died. 

Joe Bell, 48, from La Grande, Oregon was killed on his walk last night (9 October) when he was hit by a semi truck in eastern Colorado. 

The walk across North America was in tribute to his gay 15-year-old son Jadin, who hanged himself in an elementary school playground in January. 

The grieving father was walking eastbound on the shoulder of Highway 40, 20 miles northwest of Kit Carson, when he was hit at 5.10pm. 

He was pronounced dead at the scene

Love is winning

Love is finding its way

Another example of the LGBT winning the hearts & minds of America: former president George Bush, Sr. acts as the official witness at the wedding of a lesbian couple

More and more establishment GOPers are joining the marriage equality bandwagon!  Read about today's latest event in Maine.

Celebrating sparks!

Love is proving to be more powerful than fear

 

Frank Bruni captures this moment in the history of the Roman Catholic Church: "The Pope’s Radical Whisper"

This is from one NYTimes op-ed column worth reading:

"It's about time. The leader of the Roman Catholic Church has surveyed the haughty scolds in its ranks, noted their fixation on matters of sexual morality above all others and said enough is enough. I’m not being cheeky with this one-word response. Hallelujah. [snip] He didn’t right past wrongs. Let’s be clear about that. Didn’t call for substantive change to church teachings and traditions that indeed demand re-examination, including the belief that homosexual acts themselves are sinful. Didn’t challenge the all-male, celibate priesthood. Didn’t speak as progressively — and fairly — about women’s roles in the church as he should. But he also didn’t present himself as someone with all the answers. No, he stepped forward — shuffled forward, really — as someone willing to guide fellow questioners. In doing so he recognized that authority can come from a mix of sincerity and humility as much as from any blazing, blinding conviction, and that stature is a respect you earn, not a pedestal you grab. That’s a useful lesson in this grabby age of ours." 

- Frank Bruni, writing for theNew York Times.

Just another reason we give up on no one: the former leader of South Carolina's ban on gay marriage becomes a supporter of marriage equality

This is what we mean by a "change of heart."  Former SC state senator John Hawkins re-discovered his, and I am grateful for that.

Pope Francis' words yesterday represent a sea change for the Catholic Church. While he didn't change its dogma (yet), he reminded everyone of its purpose: as a champion for love

As a long-time gay activist and a former Catholic, I am still reeling from the importance of the Pope's words in his newly released interview.  His words mark the end of the orthodox John Paul II era as much as the election of Barack Obama ended Reaganism.  

Socially-divisive priests like San Francisco's Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone have been put on notice by this new pope.  No longer can they treat LGBT people as "intrinsically disordered," second-class citizens, who are regularly castigated against from the pulpit. Instead, Pope Francis' words suggest that Cordileone and his ilk have neglected their core spiritual mission of creating a warm and welcoming environment for all Catholics, while spending most of their time lobbying for "small-minded rules" in the political square. The rabidly anti-gay animus of the conservative Catholic hierarchy has cost the church of millions and millions of followers, like my once-very-Catholic family. 

I feel that Francis is calling the RC church to return to the core message of Christ: the power of unconditional love (and providing a welcoming refugee from the suffering of the world).  This is a winning formula that meets timeless human needs. Modern people want a church that opens up their hearts and lifts them up -- not judges or controls them.  

A few months ago, I saw a segment on BBC TV in which they interviewed one of Pope Francis' spiritual mentors. I forget the elderly priest's name but it was clear that he was a big admirer of Pope John XXIII, the convener of Vatican II. So I am not completely surprised that Pope Francis is turning out to be the most reformist pope since John XXIII and just may be able to save the RC church from irrelevancy. 

Clearly, Francis' ascendancy marks the end of John Paul's cold-hearted theo-con era. Like with American politics, change is happening in Catholicism...and not a moment too soon.  -- Joe

Ellen interviews the gay Utah couple that got engaged at Home Depot

Make no mistake, love is winning...

The extraordinary has become ordinary, as the LGBT take their place in society

We are becoming as American as Disneyland while making our country gayer, too

Love is coming together...

Another wonderfully corny and touching gay wedding video. For Johnny & Sebastian. Such joy!

In the past, present, and future, love always finds a way...

Openly gay Anglican Bishop Gene Robinson preaches AND practices love. He is an American hero

Gene's Sermon on Gay Pride Day ALL (5m20s) from Auburn Seminary on Vimeo.

Watch this clip when he is confronted by a heckler:

Gene's Sermon : Heckler (2m35s) from Auburn Seminary on Vimeo.

On this New Year's Eve, remembering a beautiful moment of pure compassion and love in 2011

Nothing is more beautiful or powerful than giving unconditional love to someone you don't even know and that's why I celebrate this video made by Jonathon, a young songwriter in Los Angeles, in response to a viral video by Jonah Mowry, who has been bullied for years.

This mom is proud of her gay sons & working to overturn DOMA

When my son, Brandon, told me he was gay, I thought it was just a phase! He was about to begin his final semester of college and had been through some brief relationships with some (in my opinion) unsuitable girlfriends. I believed that when he got better about choosing girlfriends, he’d happily settle into his true, straight self.

But an odd thing happened. As Brandon became more comfortable with the idea of being gay, he became more comfortable in his own skin. He was happy – even exuberant, sometimes. He became more open with people, more reflective, more confident, and more spiritual. He developed a circle of friends who were unconditional in their support and he found that almost all of his old friends accepted and loved him, as well.

To see my son happy, truly happy in his new life was all I had ever wanted for him. That, and a happy, fulfilling relationship.

I remember the day he told me about Luke. He was almost giddy, describing their close friendship and how that friendship had blossomed into love. I had never seen him like this. Such joy. Such hope for the future.

I met Luke a few months after they started dating and liked him instantly. His personality has a brightness that complements my son’s intensity. He laughs easily and has a dry sense of humor that matches Brandon’s. They are easy with one another, and kind. They share a zest for life, a love of Manhattan and an artistic sensibility. Brandon had found a good match. Luke was soon like a son to me.

Luke is from South Africa. It soon began to dawn on me what that would mean for their future as the harsh reality of the so-called Defense of Marriage Act became bitterly clear. Luke’s immigration status in America was in jeopardy. And, even if he and Brandon were to marry, because of DOMA, there would be no legal protections afforded to him that would be available to Brandon’s sister and her husband, if they had been in a similar situation. That parallel kept coming back to mind. Why should my children be treated differently by our government?

A little over a year ago, Brandon called me to tell me that he and Luke had decided to get married. My mind instantly went to “What will I wear?” But there was no time to linger on that thought because Brandon said they planned to marry that Saturday. It would be just the two of them – and their dog, Andrew. They wanted to save the big wedding with family and friends for a time when they could afford to do it in the style they both dreamed of. I would fly to New York from California. His sister would fly up from Georgia and his father from Texas and they would surround themselves with family and friends.

But they didn’t want to wait that long to get married. They went to Connecticut, one of the few states that recognizes gay marriage, for their wedding. It was clear to me that Brandon and Luke were deliriously happy, with one exception: they had this immigration thing hanging over their heads. Luke is even afraid to travel domestically, so Brandon splits his holidays – trying to make it to Georgia for a family Christmas a few days late or early so he can be with Luke on the actual holiday. If Brandon comes to California to see me, Luke stays back home in New York. I visit New York when I can. As a result, it has not been possible to all be together like a family, to fully integrate Luke into our lives as we would like to do. It is hard to understand why our government would continue to tear away at the fabric of American families like this. After all, this is not only about Brandon and Luke but about all of us who are treated like our families don’t count.

Luke has become very involved in raising awareness and fighting for equal rights for binational gay and lesbian couples. This has empowered Luke in such a way that he and Brandon have decided to go public with their story. Brandon has filed a green card petition for Luke on the basis of their marriage. Just taking this action has lifted their spirits. He and Brandon are hopeful that the time is right for this nation to face the cruel discrimination of DOMA and make it possible for any loving couple that chooses to marry to receive equal treatment under the law. I am so proud of my two sons.

I fully support Brandon and Luke in this fight, but I worry that they will be separated, or that, in order to stay together, Brandon will be forced to leave this country to be with his husband. That would break my heart because it would tear them away from us.

There is such ignorance and fear driving this terrible prejudice. In this difficult world, we find ourselves torn apart by small differences instead of embracing the common bonds we all share. Love is the supreme bond. We need it for our spiritual survival. We crave it for our happiness and fulfillment. And when any adult couple is lucky enough to find love together and they are willing to make a lifelong commitment, I believe that courageous act should be encouraged. They should not be treated as second-class citizens or ostracized because they happen to be of the same sex.

So, my dream for my son and his husband is that the discrimination of DOMA will end soon. My dream for them is that they will be free to build the kind of life together that is every couple’s dream. There will always be people who do not understand them. But lack of understanding is not justification for taking away basic human rights. I believe the law often has to step in before human understanding can be accomplished. The Civil Rights movement proved that. We are in a new era of civil rights struggles. It is my dream that equal marriage rights are just around the corner for Brandon and Luke. I will do what I can to help them achieve that dream by making sure that those who represent us and work for us in government know how American families are impacted every day by DOMA. They will all hear from me. I hope you will join us in this effort.

--Gailya

Don't talk to me about love...show me what you mean

To begin by always thinking of love as an action rather than a feeling is one way in which anyone using the word in this manner automatically assumes accountability and responsibility.

--Bell Hooks

This lesson is a huge breakthrough for me. It has forced me to re-look at some of my friendships and past relationships in order better understand what is actually going on. I am realizing the important difference between professing love vs. practicing love, as Brene Brown writes about.

My greatest inheritance has been that my parents and brother have always practiced loving me. And their abiding love and deep interest in my life has helped me contend with my sister's death, emerge from the coming out process relatively whole, and deal with the inevitable professional highs and lows. We have had our issues, but my family has been there for me, nearly every step of the way, tracking me, encouraging me, and allowing me to be me. This has made all the difference and has become my model for the way I live and interact with others.

I practice loving those people who are close to me, doing my best to show up, follow their events and feelings, and try to be a positive influence - for family, friends, and business associates. Jason tells me he feels and sees my love in action and so do my family and close friends. I do this because it expresses what's in my heart.

However, the big error I have made in some relationships is expecting that my love can change others who grew up differently from me or value different things. I have mistakenly thought that my love practice would inspire them to be loving, and sometimes I have became resentful or angry when they couldn't or didn't return my love. I am reminded that I can't change anybody. But nor do I have to someone's friend or lover if they lack the capability to be loving and considerate. I realize that these relationships are not balanced or satisfying and I have let go of number of them this year, which has greatly improved the quality of my life. Most importantly, I am taking better care of myself and practicing loving me, whether that is getting more sleep, eating well and exercising more, doing things that make my heart sing or nothing at all.

All of this is helping me to be more genuinely loving -- of myself and others. At the same time, I am happy to see that many of my friends who didn't receive a lot of love as kids are finding ways to re-parent themselves and learning how to practice love. I am inspired by their courage and loving actions as much as they are by mine.

Finally, these are the types of friends (including a boyfriend) that I invite into my life: people who consistently practice giving and receiving love no matter what. And this is the commitment I make, too.