9/30/11
9/29/11
I like this Duchess...her style and down-to-earthness
Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, meets patient Fabian Bate, 9, during a visit to open the new Oak Centre for Children and Young People at The Royal Marsden Hospital.
9/28/11
"He asked. I didn’t tell." A personal account of external & internal homophobia from the Washington Post
By Edward C. Price, Published: September 23, 2011, Washington Post
Like countless drivers before me, last month I faced the embarrassment of being pulled over by the park police for speeding on Northern Virginia’s congested George Washington Memorial Parkway — during the evening rush hour, no less. As passing traffic slowed, the ire of onlooking motorists became the least of my concerns. The officer informed me that I was being placed under arrest for driving with a suspended license, the result, I later learned, of an administrative error at the D.C. Department of Motor Vehicles. He handcuffed me, placed me in the back of his cruiser and took me to the nearest police station. It was there that I became a victim of another sort.
During the routine questioning — name, phone number, place of employment and, finally, address — I told the officer something that he considered to be grounds for another possible offense. I said that I lived on T Street NW, which he recognized as the Dupont Circle neighborhood of the District. His follow-up question was disdainful and, perhaps worse, asked without hesitation, as if it were entirely customary and even appropriate.
“You’re not gay, are you?”
It was a question that had been posed to me many times in the past. Until a few years ago, my answer had been singular and unequivocal. “No.” But as I began coming out to friends and family, I grew comfortable with who I was, even if I never felt the need to advertise it. But never before had the question been put to me under such circumstances. I was handcuffed, sitting on a police bench and discussing with the officer in an otherwise empty station what citations he might issue. I had a sneaking suspicion that affirming my sexuality was not going to improve my situation.
I hesitated briefly before committing another offense: I lied to a policeman, telling him, no, I was not gay. “Good,” he replied with an exaggerated sigh of relief. He then warned me to stay away from the “public bathrooms” near the District’s Meridian Hill Park. He laughed heartily. I sat there, humiliated.
The officer must have noticed my discomfort. He reassured me that he would be lenient regarding the citations. I considered explaining to him the real reason for my reddening eyes, my quickened breathing and fidgeting. I thought about taking a righteous stand, allowing the injustice to go no further. This was the sort of “teachable moment” that one rarely encounters in the nation’s capital, a relative bastion of acceptance.
For several minutes, however, I could not bring myself to do it. I spent years accepting and growing comfortable with my identity, but somehow I had permitted myself to deny it in that split second. I was a coward when it mattered, allowing the officer to deprive me of the autonomy and confidence I struggled for most of my adult life to achieve.
It was only after the ink on the citations was dry that I spoke up. I verified that I had been respectful throughout the proceedings and further explained that I had similarly been nothing but truthful, except on one matter. I told him I was, in fact, gay. His reaction was nonchalant — “I don’t care if you’re gay” — as if the issue was solely one of me coming clean to him. I explained that the question and, especially, his follow-up comments were inappropriate and deeply hurtful. He apologized. I omitted, though, that equally painful was my decision to deny the accusation initially. That was not his concern but mine alone.
I left the station that evening indignant about the ordeal, not knowing whether to chalk it up to mere thoughtless remarks or something closer to a violation of my civil rights. It was only later that I realized what was really eating at me. It had less to do with what the officer asked and more with how I responded. I would have been satisfied with myself, had I unflinchingly admitted who I was in response to the officer’s question. But I waited; I waited for a more comfortable, opportune moment.
More often than not, however, the moment is inopportune. What matters most is being able to speak the truth regardless. In addition to a couple of traffic tickets, that’s what I took away from that police station.
Edward C. Price , Washington
A profile in courage: Britain's Ambassador to Syria, who is standing up to a dictatorship
Check out the good and brave Ambassador's blog.
Here is a snippet from his latest post:
The Syrian regime doesn’t want you to know that its security forces and the gangs that support them are killing, arresting and abusing mostly peaceful protesters: The UN says over 2,700 people have died in the last six months, some of them under torture in prison. It doesn’t want you to know that it is preventing many from meeting peacefully to discuss reform. It wants you to hear only one version of the truth – its own. And to see only one way out – the return to authoritarian rule where fear surpasses a desire for freedom. This is a regime that remains determined to control every significant aspect of political life in Syria. It is used to power. And it will do anything to keep it.
--Ambassador Simon Collis
A lesson I learned from my parents...
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
--Friedrich Nietzsche
My parents have a good friendship, with deep respect and admiration for each other.
9/27/11
Stewart's brilliant & incisive commentary on GOP politics
On the reinstatement of DADT...
On the search for the perfect conservative candidate...
On the search for the perfect conservative candidate...
9/26/11
Last night, I met & talked to Jane Lynch...again
About 5 years ago at LA dinner party (pre-Glee) hosted by a costume designer friend, Jane Lynch sat with my mom, dad and brother, eating Chesapeake Bay crabs and comparing notes about our Midwest backgrounds. We left that party thinking what a nice person that character actress was.
Fast forward to last night: I attended a reception and event for Jane Lynch, as she goes around the country and promotes her new book. I am reminded her about the party and she remembered the crab party. It was fun reconnecting with her.
She also shared her wisdom with the crowd, including:
* Her practice of saying "Yes" to whatever opportunities present themselves, even if they are scary new experiences, like hosting the Emmys.
* Her advice that the most important things are taking place right in front of us and that's where we need to focus our attention...not wishing to be at another party or facing another set of circumstance. Being right here now.
* Her encouragement for us to face and honor our shadow aspects, not running away or distracting ourselves from the challenging parts of our personalities.
I really appreciated her insights and good cheer. She's a fine a person, and I came away with an autographed book for my mom and some pleasant memories.
In praise of Mr. Rogers
I appreciate Andrew Sullivan's ongoing discussion of the good social effects of Mr. Rogers. The man embodied humility, kindness, and love. We need more of that, especially these days.
9/25/11
9/24/11
Andrew Sullivan on the booing of gay service members
I had the same feeling as Andrew below, when I went to bed Thursday: I acutely felt the hatred of conservatives for me and my sexual orientation. It was piercing and cold. And un-American.
(And I felt the same way in the previous debates when the crowd cheered the executions of convicted prisoners and that a man should die if he does not have medical insurance. Where is the humanity of these people?)
Andrew Sullivan:
But as I went to bed last night, the scattered boos for an American soldier in the field at any debate began to sink in. And Santorum's despicable lie in response - that repealing DADT somehow means license of gay sexual misconduct in the armed services - was intended to reduce that soldier, his life and work, to Santorum's obsession: the intrinsic evil of gay sex. Again, this is usual. Gays are used to being reduced to sexual acts rather than being seen as full human beings, like straight people, with sexuality sure, but a whole lot of other things as well.
But somehow the fact that these indignities were heaped on a man risking his life to serve this country, a man ballsy enough to make that video, a man in the uniform of the United States ... well, it tells me a couple of things. It tells me that these Republicans don't actually deep down care for the troops, if that means gay troops. Their constant posturing military patriotism has its limits.
The shocking silence on the stage - the fact that no one challenged this outrage - also tells me that this kind of slur is not regarded as a big deal. When it came to it, even Santorum couldn't sanction firing all those servicemembers who are now proudly out. But that's because he was forced to focus not on his own Thomist abstractions, but on an actual person. Throughout Republican debates, gays are discussed as if we are never in the audience, never actually part of the society, never fully part of families, never worthy of even a scintilla of respect. When you boo a servicemember solely because he's gay, you are saying he is beneath contempt, that nothing he does or has done can counterweigh the vileness of his sexual orientation.
And then I think of all those gay servicemembers who have died for this country, or been wounded in battle, or been on tours year after year ... and the fury builds.
9/23/11
His Holiness on not acting out from our 'monkey minds'
Buddhism explains that our normal state of mind is such that our thoughts and emotions are wild and unruly, and since we lack the mental discipline needed to tame them, we are powerless to control them. As a result, they control us. And thoughts and emotions, in their turn, tend to be controlled by our negative impulses rather than our positive ones. We need to reverse this cycle.
--The Dalai Lama
9/22/11
Given my two posts below, what about forgiveness
"Dom Christian enunciated the deepest meaning of forgiveness. We forgive not only because God asks it of us, not only because we must find released from the burdens of hatred and revenge, but because we recognize that we are not innocent, that we, too, as Dom Christian wrote, are accomplices 'of the evil that seems to prevail in the world around.' ...
In the end, we must forgive, as Christ forgave from the cross, because we cannot allow ourselves, or our world, to be swept away in waves of hatred and sin. Standing fast for the good, accepting evil rather than returning it, is the only way the tides of injustice can be turned. We choose life rather than revenge, because choosing life can never be postponed. We can’t hate first and choose life later."
--Terrance W. Klein
9/21/11
Our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive...
Death is not the biggest fear we have;
our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive--
the risk to be alive and express what we really are.
--Don Miguel Ruiz
The President defends the rights of LGBT at the UN
From yesterday:
And to make sure our societies reach their potential, we must allow our citizens to reach theirs. No country can afford the cancer of corruption. Together, we must harness the power of open societies and open economies. That is why we have partnered with countries from across the globe to launch a new partnership on Open Government that helps ensure accountability and empower citizens. No country should deny people their rights, the freedom of speech and freedom of religion, but also no country should deny people their rights because of who they love, which is why we must stand up for the rights of gays and lesbians everywhere. And no country can realize its potential if half its population cannot reach theirs. This week, the United States signed a new Declaration on Women’s Participation. Next year, we should each announce the steps we are taking to break down the economic and political barriers that stand in the way of women and girls. This is what our commitment to human progress demands.
--President Barack Obama
Dignity, integrity & joy...all about the repeal of DADT
Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy
Watch the full episode. See more PBS NewsHour.
9/20/11
9/19/11
Over the past month, this GI has come out to thousands via video, his troop and girlfriend. Tonight, given the repeal of DADT, he reveals himself & tells his dad
Vulnerability and courage can change the world and this man embodies both! I am proud and grateful that he is serving the country and protecting my freedoms. God bless him!
Tonight, over a drink with my friend Phil at 9:01 PM PST, we toasted the end of DADT and welcomed a new era of equality for the LGBT. A deep bow to everyone who worked for this victory
As I was celebrating with Phil, people like Dan Choi, President Obama, Katherine Miller, Aubrey Sarvis, Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, Lenny Matlovich, former Rep. Patrick Murphy, Victor J. Fehrenbach, Andy Towle, Joe Steffan, Rachel Maddow, Andrew Wilfahrt, Senator Susan Collins, Admiral Mike Mullen, Grethe Cammermeyer, Senator Lieberman, Mike Almy, Log Cabin Republicans, and my mom and friends came to mind and are just a few of the many many people who fought for the repeal of DADT. God bless them all, for they stood up for freedom, love and the highest values that this country was founded on. They are patriots.
Friday Night Lights gets recognized at last night's Emmy awards for its brilliant writing & acting. It is so deserved...
Jason Katims wins Best Writing for a drama series
Kyle Chandler win for Best Actor in a drama series
Kyle Chandler win for Best Actor in a drama series
At the request of Buffet & others, Obama rightfully introduces a millionaires tax
"To much who is given much is expected"
I respect those who create great wealth but don't honor greed and selfishness.
Read about Obama's latest initiative to help bring the country back to fiscal sanity. However, everyone is going to have to sacrifice to restore the finances of the country like they were in 1998-2000, the only time in the modern era when the country was in the black.
The 3 poisons — ignorance, attachment, and hatred
This is what we call ignorance: not recognizing the void nature of phenomena and assuming that phenomena possess the attribute of true existence although in fact they are devoid of it. With ignorance comes attachment to all that is pleasant to the ego as well as hatred and repulsion for all that is unpleasant. In that way the three poisons—ignorance, attachment, and hatred—come into being. Under the influence of these three poisons, the mind becomes like a servant running here and there. This is how the suffering of samsara is built up. It all derives from a lack of discernment and a distorted perception of the nature of phenomena.
–-Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche
Via Tricycle.com
9/15/11
Wise words from "The Tree of Life"
Help each other. Love everyone. Every leaf. Every ray of light. Forgive.
--The Tree of Life (2011)
I have forgiven John McCain and other Republican leaders who fought so vehemently against the repeal of DADT, but I will not forget their actions. I am wide awake to the fact that one political party is opposed to my full Constitutional rights as an American citizen.
Another reason why the repeal of DADT matters? The U.S. military is the largest employer in the world
And those 3.2 million people have gone through diversity training in the last six months where they have been told that gay people are to be treated equally and with respect. Thank you President Obama and former Rep. Patrick Murphy for the leadership to make this happen.
Last night, I attended the world premiere of the HBO documentary of "The Strange History of Don't Ask, Don't Tell." Reliving the long repeal effort, I cried with pride for my community and allies standing up to injustice
If you have HBO, watch this well-done show airing Monday and Tuesday nights. It get gives an overview of famous gays in the military, discrimination by the U.S. government starting in WW II, and the Herculean and ultimately successful effort to repeal of this unjust law. Last year, I dedicated several hundred hours to the repeal of DADT, as a blogger and a frequent letter writer/tweeter. Also, I must say that I am so proud of my friends and family for responding to my early morning requests to email wavering Republican senators. Of course, my mom, who loves her two gay sons, went beyond what I asked and called Senator Susan Collins' legislative director and spoke to him directly for several minutes. Later, he told me that he had heard from all the Rodriguezes and their friends. Senator Collins went on to be the Senate co-sponsor of the final bill that passed.
I honor my family, friends, LGBT leaders, President and Senators, and the brave men and women inside the military who fought this law. YES WE CAN...reclaim our full rights as citizens and reaffirm the ideas embodied in the U.S. Constitution. There is nothing more patriotic.
9/13/11
A good sign of the times: Oregon GOP abandons anti-gay language from party platform
This is good news, indeed. The tea leaves are clear: being anti-gay is a losing proposition in the future. And it is morally and ethically indefensible.
9/12/11
Tom Matlack saluates Father John Unni, a true Christian
"Gays Home in Catholic Church Put To Test Today" by Tom Matlack
I went to my daughter’s confirmation in the Catholic Church this morning and got a lot more than I expected. I found another personal hero...
...I had noticed in the bulletin the following:
“The Rainbow Ministry of St. Cecilia Parish invites all friends and supporters of the LGBT community to a Mass in celebration of Boston’s Pride Month.The theme of the liturgy, ‘All Are Welcome,’ honors Christ’s message of hope and salvation to all people. We will also celebrate the diverse community that finds its home at St. Cecilia.’’
I thought it pretty cool that such a thing could happen in a Catholic Church. Little did I know that there had been outrage over the service all week played out in the press, causing it to be postponed, and that The Catholic Archdiocese of Boston made the following statement in the Boston Globe:
“The wording and placement of a bulletin notice announcing that the St. Cecilia Rainbow Ministry will be joining the parish at a Mass on June 19 may have given the unintended impression that the Mass is in support of Gay Pride Week; it is not,’’ said Terrence C. Donilon, a spokesman for the archdiocese. “The pastor will clarify this issue at the Masses this coming weekend.’’
Without any idea of what was coming, I was about to witness Pastor John Unni’s clarification. What followed was one of the most inspiring speeches I have ever witnessed in any context. Apparently, Father John had an official message from the Archdiocese which he never read. Instead he walked amongst his flock, back and forth, speaking with so much passion that at times his face became red. He talked in the strongest terms possible about the importance of inclusion not exclusion. Several in the crowd near me wiped away tears as he spoke.
Father John explained that his only agenda was Christ’s agenda and that it was all of ours responsibility to love even when doing so was difficult. And this was one of those moments. He talked about the many messages of support he had gotten since the Rainbow Ministry’s mass had become front page news. But he had also received messages on email and message boards that were deeply troubling. He made it clear we all have a fundamental choice to make in our lives: we can either love or hate. And that Jesus teaches us to love the rich and the poor, the white and the black, the gay and the straight.
“I don’t know if you saw Chronicle the other night,” he concluded. “But one in three teenagers who are gay will attempt suicide. If you are one of those who criticize our outreach, I ask you to look into your soul and ask whether there isn’t a profound opportunity for service and mission when it comes to those young people. Look at the places where you are broken and afraid and ask yourself why we shouldn’t be doing something to help those young people.”
Just as Father John finished, I heard one heckler at the back of the church stand and begin to shout something angry. But before I could make out what she was saying the whole congregation was on its feet giving Father John a standing ovation. It went on for two minutes, not fading away, but getting stronger. Father John applauded them back.
I was very proud of my daughter for being confirmed. I was inspired by the man who led her in faith and made clear to all present what faith really means, even when it is hard.
Andrew Sullivan writes eloquently on the extremism of today's GOP and his hopes for a new, Huntsman-style direction for the party. Hear, hear!
"Republicanism As Religion" by Andrew Sullivan
The Dish covered the remarkable web essay of Mike Lofgren, but I didn't comment myself because it so closely follows my own argument in "The Conservative Soul" and on this blog, that it felt somewhat superfluous. But I want to draw attention to the crux of the piece, because if we are to understand how the right became so unmoored from prudence, moderation and tradition and became so infatuated with recklessness, extremism and revolution, we need to understand how it happened.
It is, of course, as my shrink never fails to point out, multi-determined. But here is Lofgren's attempt at a Rosebud:
How did the whole toxic stew of GOP beliefs - economic royalism, militarism and culture wars cum fundamentalism - come completely to displace an erstwhile civilized Eisenhower Republicanism?
It is my view that the rise of politicized religious fundamentalism (which is a subset of the decline of rational problem solving in America) may have been the key ingredient of the takeover of the Republican Party. For politicized religion provides a substrate of beliefs that rationalizes - at least in the minds of followers - all three of the GOP's main tenets.
That too is my view: that the GOP, deep down, is behaving as a religious movement, not as a political party, and a radical religious movement at that. Lofgren sees the "Prosperity Gospel" as a divine blessing for personal enrichment and minimal taxation (yes, that kind of Gospel is compatible with Rand, just not compatible with the actual Gospels); for military power (with a major emphasis on the punitive, interventionist God of the Old Testament); and for radical change and contempt for existing institutions (as a product of End-Times thinking, intensified after 9/11).
Lofgren argues that supply-side economics attaches to the fundamentalist worldview purely by coalition necessity. The fundamentalists are not that interested in debt or economics (they sure didn't give a damn as spending exploded under Bush) but if their coalition partners insist on a certain economic doctrine, they'll easily go along with it, as long as it is never compromised. If it's presented as eternal dogma, they can handle it - and defend it with gusto. If it also means that Obama is wrong, so much the better. Most theo-political movements need an anti-Christ of some sort; and Obama - even though he is the most demonstrably Christian president since Carter - fills the role.
And so this political deadlock conceals a religious war at its heart. Why after all should one abandon or compromise sacred truths? And for those whose Christianity can only be sustained by denial of modern complexity, of scientific knowledge, and of what scholarly studies of the Bible's origins have revealed, this fusion of political and spiritual lives into one seamless sensibility and culture, is irresistible. And public reminders of modernity - that, say, many Americans do not celebrate Christmas, that gay people have human needs, that America will soon be a majority-minority country and China will overtake the US in GDP by mid-century - are terribly threatening.
But all these nuances do not therefore vanish. The gays don't disappear. China keeps growing. The population becomes browner and browner. Women's lives increasingly become individual choices not social fates. And this enrages and terrifies the fundamentalist even more. Hence the occasional physical lashing out - think Breivik or McVeigh - but more profoundly, the constant endless insatiable cultural lashing out at the "elites" who have left fundamentalism behind, and have, on many core issues, science on their side. So within this religious core, and fundamentalist mindset, you also have the steely solder of ressentiment, intensified even further by a period of white middle and working class decline and economic crisis.
That's how I explain the current GOP. It can only think in doctrines, because the alternative is living in a complicated, global, modern world they both do not understand and also despise. Taxes are therefore always bad. Government is never good. Foreign enemies must be pre-emptively attacked. Islam is not a religion. Climate change is an elite conspiracy to impoverish America. Terror suspects are terrorists. When Americans torture, it is not torture. When Christians murder, they are not Christians. And if you change your mind on any of these issues, you are a liberal, an apostate, and will be attacked.
If your view of conservatism is one rooted in an instinctual, but agile, defense of tradition, in a belief in practical wisdom that alters constantly with circumstance, in moderation and the defense of the middle class as the stabilizing ballast of democracy, in limited but strong government ... then the GOP is no longer your party (or mine).
Religion has replaced all of this, reordered it, and imbued the entire political-economic-religious package with zeal. And the zealous never compromise. They don't even listen.
Think of Michele Bachmann's wide-eyed, Stepford stare as she waits for a questioner to finish before providing another pre-cooked doctrinal nugget. My fear - and it has building for a decade and a half, because I've seen this movement up-close from within and also on the front lines of the marriage wars - is that once one party becomes a church with unchangeable doctrines, and once it has supplanted respect for institutions and civility with the radical pursuit of timeless doctrines and hatred of governing institutions, then our democracy is in grave danger.
If you ask why I remain such a strong Obama supporter, it is because I see him as that rare individual able to withstand the zeal without becoming a zealot in response, and to overcome the recklessness of pure religious ideology with pragmatism, civility and reason. That's why they fear and loathe him. Not because his policies are not theirs'. But because his temperament is their nemesis. If he defeats them next year, they will break, because their beliefs are so brittle, but will then reform, along Huntsman-style lines. If they defeat him, I fear we will no longer be participating in a civil conversation, however fraught, but in a civil war.
The groundlessness of life
Don't cry to me for safety. There is no home here. There is no security in your mansions or your fortresses, your family vaults or your banks or your double beds. Understand this fact, and you will be free. Accept it, and you will be happy.
--Christopher Isherwood
9/11/11
9/10/11
9/9/11
9/6/11
9/5/11
The essential truth about reality
Not I but the world say it:
All is one.
--Heraclitus
via Zen Calenda
9/4/11
9/2/11
Inwardly becoming naked...
In order to swim one takes off all one's clothes--in order to inspire to the truth one must undress in a far more inward sense, divest oneself of all one's inward clothes, of thoughts, conceptions, selfishness, etc., before is sufficiently naked.
--Soren Kierkegaard
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