The parents of the late Asher Brown speak to CNN

object width="480" height="385">

Every student deserves to feel safe at school: this gay man at Rutger's University kills himself after his dorm mate secretly recorded him having sex

Read about Tyler's story here.

Watch Michigan Attorney General defends his homophobic, bullying employee on CNN

The documentary "Waiting for 'Superman'" shows the urgent need for significant education reform. This is a must-see movie for all citizens

On Monday night, I went to an early screening of the controversial and much-anticipated documentary, "Waiting for 'Superman'", at an event graciously sponsored by the Bay Area United Way. This movie is a must see, and will outrage most thinking citizens, including progressives like me who have tended to cast a blind eye at the influence of teachers' unions on our education system and the policies of the Democratic party. As a son of two former teachers, I feel we must reform our education system NOW or seriously risk losing to China, India, Europe and the rest of the world in the global economy.

Fortunately, the President has bravely led the way on education reform (and taken on the teachers' unions with his visionary "Race to the Top" program, which is part of the stimulus plan. In addition to providing much needed money to innovate in education, the program encourages states to eliminate tenure for K-12 teachers. Tenure guarantees teachers a job for life, no matter how they perform. While most teachers try to do the right thing for their students, the bottom 20% of teachers are seriously bringing down the quality of our education, encouraging high drop-out rates, and producing no or low skilled workers. Time for a big change!

Go and see this heart-breaking movie for yourself. And then get involved in the reform movement!

Fall is here: an iphone photo from my boyfriend while on his Buddhist retreat in Washington state

NYTimes on why Obama picked my alma mater, U. of Wisconsin, to launch the fall campaign

Read the full article here.

I might add that Madison is one of the nicest, most livable cities in America, with sandwiched between two large lakes and home of the state capital. I chose to go there over equally good graduate schools and cities, including Chapel Hill and Austin, and no regrets (except when it was minus 40 degrees in February). I miss Madison but San Francisco feels like a bigger version of it, right on the Pacific coast!

The REAL tea party movement: reasons why we need fundamental reform in education & other key areas. Thom Friedman provides insightful answers

I am big fan of Thom's and yesterday he didn't disappoint me with his call for a real tea party movement and reasons why the country must reform its self, especially in the areas of education, infrastructure, and tax policy. The article.

Here is a sample of his argument:

Democratic Pollster Stan Greenberg told me that when he does focus groups today this is what he hears: “People think the country is in trouble and that countries like China have a strategy for success and we don’t. They will follow someone who convinces them that they have a plan to make America great again. That is what they want to hear. It cuts across Republicans and Democrats.”

To me, that is a plan that starts by asking: what is America’s core competency and strategic advantage, and how do we nurture it?...Leadership today is about how the U.S. government attracts and educates more of that talent and then enacts the laws, regulations and budgets that empower that talent to take its products and services to scale, sell them around the world — and create good jobs here in the process. Without that, we can’t afford the health care or defense we need.

This is the plan the real Tea Party wants from its president. To implement it would require us to actually raise some taxes — on, say, gasoline — and cut others — like payroll taxes and corporate taxes...In other words, it will require a very smart, subtle and focused plan to use our now diminishing resources in the most efficient way possible to get back to our core competency. That is the only long-term solution to our problem — to grow our way out of debt with American workers who are more empowered and educated to compete.

Any Tea Party that says the simple answer is just shrinking government and slashing taxes might be able to tip the midterm elections in its direction. But it can’t tip America in the right direction. There is a Tea Party for that, but it’s still waiting for a leader.

Zen wisdom for today

The answer is in the question.

--Zen saying

San Francisco's Gay Men's Chorus joins Dan Savage's "It Gets Better" campaign

On my path

Morning, sickle in hand,
Noon, roaming the forest,
Gathering and binding wood.
Now the evening moon,
Quietly shedding her light
On my path

--Setcho

Obama is a man of & for the people. Not owned by banks and other crony capitalists

One cute dad pushing his kid along the beach

Watch as Obama tells his 2008 supporters to keep working for change and support his important work. At my alma mater, Wisconsin

One more bullied, 13-year-old gay boy takes his life

My heart goes out to the family of Seth Walsh. Read the story here. This spate of suicides is the result of America's homophobia and narrow definition on what it means to be a man in our society.

We need to grow up and accept all kinds of young men, especially more effeminate ones.

Michigan Assistant Attorney General targets U. of Michigan's gay student body president. Watch this remarkable exchange with Anderson Cooper

Melody Barnes, Obama's domestic policy advocate on education reform. The President shows courage in taking on the teachers' unions, but not on DADT

Watch Melody talk about Obama's education reforms, which offends the Democratic Party's biggest financial contributors, teachers' union. That takes guts. (You don't see the GOP voting to rein in Wall Street, the greedy and reckless bankers who the U.S. government had to bail out to avoid another great depression.)

I am encouraged by the President's "Race to the Top" program and the favorable advance reaction to the documentary, "Waiting for 'Superman'". Too bad Obama doesn't show more leadership on marriage equality and DADT. But I will keep pushing him on these issues.

Another male teenager takes his life after being taunted for being gay

Another boy takes his life rather than face the relentless bullies. So sad. That's why it is so important for LGBT kids or those who are purported to be gay that things get better. Dan Savage has a created a new channel on Youtube for people to post videos for kids who are in danger of hurting themselves. Check it out.

A wise man regards...

A foolish person regards himself as another,
a wise man regards others as himself.

--Dogen

The toast of the tea party, Christine O'Donnell is lampooned on Saturday Night Live

"It Gets Better" video channel helps bullied LGBT kids deal with isolation and suicidal thoughts

Dan Savage has done such a wonderfully compassionate thing, reaching out to gay kids through his Youtube video channel, It Gets Better. Watch many of the inspiring videos by people who care about the welfare of these bullied kids in elementary, middle and high schools across America. This is the way of the Buddha, caring for and helping to alleviate the suffering of others. A deep bow to Dan Savage and all the other contributors to this site.

Denial: homophobic bishop Eddie Long denies the sexual abuse accusations of four young men from his congregation in a spirited sermon

The second Federal Court blow to DADT in Sept

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

One of my favorite lines from the Course in Miracles

In my defenselessness my safety lies.

--The Course in Miracles

Stephen Colbert testifies before Congress. :)

Read the Washington Post article on the new gay rights groups, one conservative and one liberal

Good article on new gay groups, on the right and left, in today's Washington Post.

Leaves of grass

These are really the thoughts of all men in all ages and lands, they are not original with me,
If they are not yours as much as mine they are nothing, or next to nothing,
If they are not the riddle and the untying of the riddle they are nothing,
If they are not just as close as they are distant they are nothing.
This is the grass that grows wherever the land is and the water is,
This is the common air that bathes the globe.

--Walt Whitman

Good ole Rachel. You go, girl!

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Dan Savage creates a YouTube video channel to reach out to gay kids who are being bullied in school & might be feeling suicidal

Doing things with your whole body and mind

The most important thing is: When you put your hands together, you should do it with your whole body and mind.

--Dainin Katagiri

After today's vote on DADT, I am mad but never been so determined to win full equality

I am mad at the Democrats for miscalculating, and planning this vote before the Defense Department's report in December on how to integrate gays in the military.

I am mad at the GOP for throwing the gays under the bus, for the umpteenth time, with John McCain leading the charge, after promising to repeal DADT in the past.

I am mad at HRC and other gay organizations for not coordinating their efforts and rallying their members for this vote. There is very little leadership from our gay political organizations on this issue.

I am mad, which is not a bad thing. And I will keep fighting this and other forms of un-Constitutional discrimination against LGBT people until we are treated fairly and equally.

From The Daily Beast: A Bush-era strategist talks about how the GOP is trashing the Constitution by opposing the repeal of DADT

A great piece by Mark McKinnon, Bush's political strategist.

Lt. Dan Choi schools Rev. Harry Jackson on bigotry

Critical vote today on Don't Ask Don't Tell: what you can do

From Alex Nicholson at Servicemembers United, here's what's happening today on DADT:

Today the Senate will vote at 2:15pm (11:15am Pacific Time) on cloture for the motion to proceed to debate on National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA, which includes a provision to end DADT). All that means is that we need 60 votes tomorrow to move forward.

The good news is that we had the 60 votes lined up (a few more than 60, in fact) and we were ready to move forward as NDAA normally does. The bad news is that Senator Reid, the Senate Majority Leader, just changed the terms of the debate to slight even the moderate Republicans who were lined up to vote with us to break the filibuster.

So now, this is where we are... either Senator Reid needs to change his mind and let at least some Republicans have an amendment or two of their own, or one or two Republicans need to vote to break the filibuster without the ability to offer any of their own amendments to other areas of NDAA.

So there are two things you can do:

1. You can call Senator Reid's office and tell him to return to the original terms of amendments and debate for NDAA (the original terms that had us the 60 votes locked down).

Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV)
Senate Majority Leader
(202) 224-3542

and/or

2. You can call the 5 Republicans who were either going to or likely to vote to break the filibuster under the original terms of debate for NDAA (Susan Collins, Dick Lugar, George Voinovich, Olympia Snowe, and Scott Brown) and ask them to vote to break the filibuster anyway.

My suggestion is that we all do BOTH! No one can be let off the hook here. Please call these senate offices today and tomorrow. Numbers are below.

Alex Nicholson
Executive Director
Servicemembers United



Sen. Susan Collins (R-ME)
(202) 224-2523

Sen. Dick Lugar (R-IN)
(202) 224-4814

Sen. George Voinovich (R-OH)
(202) 224-3353

Sen. Olympia Snowe (R-ME)
(202) 224-5344

Sen. Scott Brown (R-MA)
(202) 224-4543

Being of service: opportunity vs. obligation

Whatever we do for others, whatever sacrifices we make, it should be voluntary and arise from understanding the benefit of such actions.

--Dalai Lama

In praise of the Yuba River

Spent the weekend with Jeff at his friends' very large cabin on the banks of the beautiful Yuba River, in Washington, CA, (population now: 165; population during the Gold Rush: 10,000). Thanks to Jim and Andrew for their hospitality!

Watch the world's longest basketball shot

Stewart & Colbert are trying to restore some sanity to our political discourse by satirizing the tea party extremists and Fox 'News' network

Read all about it here, and why what they are doing matters to LGBT citizens.

Back on Sunday. Off to the Yuba

Urgent action needed on DADT: I just called these seven senators

Just in from Servicemembers Legal Defense Network:

KEY SENATORS UNCOMMITTED ON BREAKING THE FILIBUSTER ON DADT:

--Susan Collins (R-ME)
--Olympia Snowe (R-ME)
--Mark Pryor (D-Ark.)
--Richard Lugar (R-IN)
--Judd Gregg (R-NH)
--Jim Webb (D-VA)
--George Voinovich (R-OH)

Now is a crucial moment. The number for the Capitol switchboard is (202) 224-3121.

How kindness grows

I was parallel parking my car the other day and was about to walk away when I noticed another driver having difficulty fitting his car in the short space behind me. So I stopped, put down my things, and moved my car forward. He smiled big and gave me the thumbs up sign as I walked away.

This is what I found upon my return, under my windshield wiper: a thank you note and gift card for a free drink at starbucks.

Kindness is catchy!

Why DADT must change

Democracy in the age of Google, social networks, and video: Lady Gaga supporters fight DADT

Don't Compare

From Tricyle:

Comparing good and bad is just deluded thinking. As long as you are immersed in these wandering thoughts, you will not enter the proper conditions for practice. Do not concern yourself with anything going on around you. Nor should you be concerned with anything going on inside yourself. Focus fully on the method and do not make external or internal comparisons. If you can do that, your practice will be effective.

--Ch'an Master Sheng Yen, "Incomparable You"

If you want to better understand the world of Justice Clarence Thomas, just watch these recent video clips of his wife Ginni

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

I will keep pushing for LGBT rights as long as there are kids who take their own lives due to anti-gay bullying

Another boy takes his life because of the shame and pressure of being called gay. We have to change society and stop this. Read about his story.

In this golden age of tennis, Nadal wins the U.S. Open

I love Roger Federer and Rafe Nadal, whose rivalry is a celebration of technical and artistic brilliance, sportsmanship, endurance, unanticipated comebacks and male cuteness. Both of them made into the semi-finals of the U.S. Open, and Nadal beat Novak Djokovic to win the trophy tonight, his first win at this tournament.

In this age of acceptance of greater sexual diversity, there may be some surprises:)

One of the greatest gifts you can give to kids: encouraging them to be true to themselves

A wise story about parenting/mentoring, from the Good Men project.

"Target misses the mark in San Francisco, but can stil reload"

A good editorial about Target, their conservative political funding controversy, and the company's plans for adding two stories to SF.

Gold Miner Zen

Pick up little things you find lying around,
like a nail or a screw, or a piece of bailing wire
or an old axehead without a handle. Make a place
to keep everything sorted neatly. If you start
taking care of things now, later the big things
will take care of themselves.

--Gold Miner Zen

Watch as Lady Gaga campaigns against DADT

John Boehner, portrait of a Congressman who represents special interests, including handing out checks from the Tobacco industry to Republicans

Read today's NYTimes article to get a sense what are the priorities of John Boehner. Hint: they are not the interests of most middle class Americans.

Know thyself

He who knows himself
knows his Lord.

--Sufi saying

A brief snapshot of my life on September 10, 2010

Last night, I was so happy to get the email alert about the federal judge who declared the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy unconstitutional and barred the military from enforcing it. Positive change on LGBT issues is happening each and every day, and I am so happy that I am part of this movement for equality. It is an absolute honor to be fighting ignorance and fear on one of the most contentious issues of my lifetime.

I got the news just as I was going into the Zen Center to keep sewing a ceremonial garment for my upcoming Jukai (formal commitment to living by Buddhist precepts) ceremony, which is similar to a Christian confirmation ceremony. Surrounded by my fellow zennies, ranging in age from 20's to 70's, I felt in a good company, surrounded by people who are doing their best to live mindful and joyful lives. I was at home, despite the challenge of sewing this intentionally-complex garment.

I am also feeling a bit weary of shouldering the burden of being an independent business strategy consultant in the midst of the most severe recession since the Great Depression. Every workday, my business partner Jane and I do everything we can to advance our business, including looking at our fears of running out of money and feeling some real disappointments (I believe we have had 12 potential contracts go south on us in the last 18 months, since the recession really hit the Bay Area). I have not talked about this much -- but instead have kept working. The ironic thing is that I have never been more excited by my work and felt more useful in business. Today we have an important business pitch but I won't be there because of a commitment to attend a leadership retreat. I know my business partner is going to do great without me.

I can see that my life is a blessing, but I have to be truthful and acknowledge these difficult times. All in all, I am happy to be alive, and experience the love of a boyfriend, family, friends and co-workers. I am blessed.

I am back on Sunday. Off to a leadership retreat in Santa Cruz, CA for the weekend

Porn in a sperm bank. Is this a bad thing?

From today's Good Feed blog:

Presumably, the August centerfold photo of Hustler has made a lot of men happy. But should it help give birth to children? A British think tank thinks not.

202health.org, a grassroots health and technology organization, has lashed out against British fertility clinics for offering porn to their clients. Their latest report states that, for one thing, porn scars the women working in clinics because “pornography strips women of full human status and reduces them to sex objects. It gives permission to its consumers to treat women as they’re treated in porn. And the reality of porn today is that it increasingly uses younger girls and is more violent and extreme.”

Porn certainly objectifies women, but it’s not as if the clinics force the receptionists and nurses to flip through Playboy, nor do they screen porn on their waiting room TVs (though I’ve yet to attend a fertility clinic, so maybe they do?).

Beyond the employees, porn apparently also warps the clients who use the porn to test their fertility. The report reads, “To do this at a time when men are particularly vulnerable, already facing the emotional and physical pressures of infertility, is inexcusable.” However, it’s probably the most effective way of helping a man determine if he can start a family of his own. Testing fertility may be the most practical, even moral, application of pornography.

The only problem I can see with porn in a fertility clinic is six years later, when the child asks, “Where do I come from?” The dad might have to reach for his Hustler.

And my response:

This is another side to this issue. Having "provided" a sperm sample for a fertility clinic in the past, I can appreciate porn, in this situation, because a man needs all the encouragement he can get. I don’t think a woman can imagine what is like to come into a sperm bank and be led into a small and cold donation room, be given a cup for your “specimen,” expected to become aroused on cue, ejaculate all of it into that tiny cup, and do all this quietly -- in a sterile, medical environment. To the good folks at 202health.org, have some compassion for the male sexual psyche and functioning. We are NOT just sperm-producing robots! LOL/Joe

Watch Target as it pays a high price for making a political contribution to a homophobe

This year, because of a recent Supreme Court decision allowing corporations to make direct donations to candidates, Target gave $150,000 to a far-right Republican candidate in Minnesota, its home state, and is now rightly paying a high price for that decision in the blogosphere. The video above has gone viral, with 1.2 million views and counting!

I like Target but am going to hiatus from that brand until they make amends with the LGBT community.

Rachel talks with Meghan McCain on Palin & DADT

The impermanence of it all: two South African gay students suffer tragic accident

This photo above caused a stir in South Africa after it was published on the front page of Stellenbosch University's student paper. The photo was taken at the Soen in die Laan, a traditionally heterosexual college event which the gay and lesbian students, including Bjorn Czepan and Dean Vorster smooching above, had decided to join to make a statement about gay rights.

Now this disturbing news from Towleroad:

In a single photograph Bjorn Czepan and Dean Vorster became unwitting symbols for tolerance and gay rights at the predominantly Afrikaner, rugby-playing Stellenbosch University.

Just a month later, there is a tragic postscript. Czepan is dead and Vorster is critically ill in hospital after a car crash.

The students were involved in an accident in Woodstock, a suburb of Cape Town, last week, the Cape Times reported.

Zen lesson for today

Stop, stop.
Do not speak.
The ultimate trhuth is not even to think.

The Buddha

Diego Forlan, the great Uruguayan soccer player

Gifted, a strong leader, loyal to his family, advocate for people with disabilities, principled, and recipient of the Golden Ball as the best player at the 2010 FIFA World Cup. And handsome too.

Speaking of anti-bullying, Obama confronts GOP

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Anti-bullying school bill signed into law in NY state!

This is good news for gay kids in New York state and reflects a growing awareness of bullying and its harmful effects in schools, including hundreds of suicides each year in the U.S. Some gay kids are killing themselves because of their shame about their homosexuality and anger over being bullied. Thankfully, this law is another step in the right direction.

Self-awareness is difficult & inconvenient

It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself,
but the most inconvenient one, too.

--Henry W. Shaw

On the November elections & Obama

It might be a good thing for the GOP to win control of the House, so they also have to take responsibility for governing, rather than just saying no.

But don't count Obama out. This man has more intelligence, integrity, compassion, political savvy and energy than the whole GOP leadership team put together. In the end, he will eventually succeed in renewing this country -- as a smart and creative force for good. Obama will succeed because he really sees and cares about the average citizens of this country, our endangered middle class. I don't believe that I can say the same thing about Mitch McConnell or John Boehner. They are more committed to special economic interests (banks, health care companies, the rich) than the common man, despite the populist rhetoric.

In my book, to be considered a great man, you must do things that are bigger than yourself...being a force for love, not fear. In service to mankind.

Change is never easy in a big messy democracy, but I still believe yes we can!

Love this new blog: Good Feed, from the front lines of Modern Manhood

From the writers at the Good Men Project comes this thoughtful blog

A portrait of a great man and teacher: the late Professor Robert Gaudino of Williams College

A good example of our society's ingrained homophobia: ESPN commentator mocks Dallas Cowboys by comparing them to gays

Zen thought for today

Zen in its essence is the art of seeing
into the nature of one's being,
and it points the way from bondage to freedom.

--D.T. Suzuki

Why I am supporting Jerry Brown for Governor

I haven't always been a supporter of Jerry Brown, especially during his past presidential runs, but I have been impressed how he has grown up, worked his ass off in trying to reform Oakland as mayor (as attorney general) and taking on entrenched liberal political forces. I am going to support him because we need a hard charging governor who is not afraid of shaking things up.

As for "big checkbook" Meg Whitman, I can't support someone who never took the time to vote, naively believes that government should be organized like a corporation (good luck with that one, Meg), and is willing to throw gays under the bus (in her support of Prop. 8) to get elected governor.

NPR's Scott Simon honoring the jobless

Having no job does not mean having no work. Your children must still be fed, bathed, and ferried to school … But you have less money for food, gas, and the new shoes your children need for school. … Having no job means that things people talk about these days -- iPads, android phones, 3-D movies, new music, or meeting friends over $4 coffee drinks -- are just beyond reach. You worry about getting dull, having nothing to talk about, and losing friends. … You may blame politicians, brokers and bankers, but in the middle of the night you might turn your eyes to the sky and wonder what you did, didn't do, or should have done. … This Labor Day we might salute the millions of Americans who don't have jobs, but who in many ways work harder than ever.

--Scott Simon

My smart and handsome cousin gets married

I just received the photos from my cousin's wedding, and I am so happy for him and his bride. It sounds cliche, but it just seems like yesterday when he was a boy and I was sending him (and his siblings) soccer shirts and other souvenirs from my business travels all over the world. Michael is good man, smart, well-educated, disciplined, accomplished and thoughtful. I am proud to be related to him. And on this Labor Day, I am sending him and his bride my best wishes.

My new found appreciation of this Labor Day

In the middle of the most difficult recession since the Great Depression, I have never worked harder but also have never been happier with my work. I am grateful on this day for meaningful work, the people I work with, and the President who is making the right long-term investments in this country./Joe

The beauty of life: click on this photo

Alves Jucelino of Brazil dives 25m (82 ft) from the top of Roche Dam during the World Cup Cliff Diving Race in Bardonecchia, about 100km (65 mi) northwest of Turin, northern Italy on August 11, 2010. (REUTERS/Stefano Rellandini)

Hateful speech is ugly, no matter who says it

I am one of Rachel Maddow's biggest admirers. But she has nothing nice to say about the Curbed blog, which last month published the address and floor plan of the West Village apartment where she and her girlfriend are moving.

No matter who says it, hateful speech is, well, ugly. I have said plenty of stupid things in my life, too, in moments of rage. Her comments remind of me of my own self-righteousness when I am angry./Joe

They may get a lot of page views for that, but I think they would have gotten just as many page views if they had redacted my address and considered my safety and privacy. Whoever at Curbed decided the actual address and floor plan was necessary to get those page views, I hope they die in a fire.

--Rachel Maddow

Zen thought for today

Refusing worldly worries,
I stroll among village strollers.

Pine winds sing, the evening village
smells of grass, autumn in the air.

A lone bird roams down the sky.
Clouds roll across the river.

You want to know my name?
--a hill, a tree. An empty drifting boat.

--Hsu Hsuan

Study finds that organic food is more nutritious & better for the soil

Science now supports what makes common sense./joe

More & more historians are talking about Abraham Lincoln's intimate relationships with men

Last year, my friend Phil told me that Abraham Lincoln was a bisexual man, but I didn't believe him. Then he gave me a book on the subject, by the famous sex researcher C.A. Tripp, and I was more convinced that Phil might be right. In a recent change.org article, the author talks about a new generation of historians who believe this to be true about Lincoln and aren't afraid to talk about it.

I am not one of those gay guys who thinks everyone is queer. But I do think the truth should not be covered up about important historic figures if they were gay or bi, given that young gay people need role models and heroes growing different in a straight world.