10/26/12

A gay man asks his parents to "vote for your son"

Read this moving letter by Walter Kapfer


Dear Mom and Dad,

You raised me to be a man and a proud American. Please don't vote for someone who would shamelessly take my rights away! Please don't cast that all-important ballot for someone who has publicly vowed to pursue a constitutional amendment to prohibit gay marriage.

As governor of Massachusetts, Mitt Romney actively sought to take away the rights of same-sex couples to marry, and he has signed the National Organization for Marriage's anti-marriage-equality pledge to push for a federal constitutional amendment defining marriage as "the union of one man and one woman." How would you feel if someone told you that your marriage wasn't worth recognizing? It would feel pretty lousy, and I know because I'm going through it at the moment. You've made it clear that you are huge fans of the Romney-Ryan ticket, and it's not clear to me why. You're not millionaires who will benefit from the tax cuts Romney would most certainly pursue for those with plenty of resources. Also, everyone in our family benefits from the Affordable Care Act. Therefore, I don't see the rationale.

But what is especially galling is that if Romney and Ryan were elected, they would pursue policies that would identify one of your four children as lesser than everyone else and not deserving of the same freedoms other Americans enjoy, such as the ability to love and to live as a respected member of this nation. You've seen firsthand how my love for my partner Eric has flourished for over 20 years. You've embraced my relationship and welcomed him into our family. I am asking you to consider not only our lives under a Romney-Ryan administration but those of future generations of LGBT Americans who will follow me. I remember how difficult it was for me as a little boy fighting to be myself, combatting bullying and bigotry. I did not give you the opportunity to share in my personal struggles; it is just not what we did when I was a child. However, now you have an opportunity to protect the next generation of young people.

I believe that the United States is the most prosperous and prominent nation on Earth, not only because of its democratic values but because of its large and diverse union. LGBT Americans are part of that union, and it should be self-evident that we are all created equal and deserve the same rights as all Americans, including the right to marry. Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan are steadfast in their resolve to strike down marriage equality, and that makes them unfit for office, in my opinion. I ask you to please sit down and think about what life would be like for your son under their administration.

During a recent interview with Focus on the Family, an anti-gay group that bills itself as "a global Christian ministry dedicated to helping families thrive" (albeit just families that "reflect God's design"), Paul Ryan asserted that a Romney-Ryan administration would fiercely oppose gay rights. Ryan is only 42 years old, making him a contemporary of mine who, presumably, went through a similar journey in his 20s and 30s. I simply cannot understand how he can align himself with a group that knowingly spreads false and denigrating propaganda about LGBT people.

Marriage matters to gay people in similar ways that it matters to everyone. Gay and lesbian couples want to get married to make a lifetime commitment to the person they love, and to protect their families. During this primary season, Romney noted that he would appoint federal judges who oppose gay marriage. Every law and every ruling against gay men and women goes against my life -- the life of your son. I don't know how you are able to separate one from the other.

The next president is likely to have an opportunity to fill two or three vacancies in the U.S. Supreme Court. The fact that he will be suggesting these appointments to the Senate is sometimes overshadowed by our day-to-day concerns, but the power of the executive branch to appoint Supreme Court justices is one of the major ways in which a president can affect how Americans live for decades after his presidential term ends. I ask you to please weigh the potential consequences of your vote for a Romney-Ryan ticket.

A vote for Romney-Ryan will hurt me. I am equal to everyone. Your vote matters to me most, so please think about it. If you vote for Romney-Ryan and my rights are affected, it'll probably be something you regret. At least I hope so.

Love, 
Your son

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