4/30/13

Watch this daughter of a Newtown victim confront Senator Ayotte, as voters begin to express their outrage over the failure of Congress to pass background checks

I want Congress to pass immigration reform. But if it does not pass it, the GOP will have hell to pay politically...as they should.

“We are really balanced here on a little precipice, and if this, pardon the pun, goes south, we could be in very serious trouble. If [Immigration Reform] stalls or is killed off by conservatives, we could take the Hispanic community and turn them into the African-American community, where we get 4% on a good day… We could be a lost party for generations,”
 – Republican media strategist Paul Wilson.

The best commercial I have seen for common sense gun legislation. By a group called Moms Demand Action



We will keep demanding action until we break the grip of the NRA on America.


And, of course, Colbert weighs in on Jason Collins' announcement...:)

Obama on Jason Collins : He shows that the LGBT are "fully part of the American family"

Ellen gives a shout-out to Jason Collins

Quote of the day, by a straight ally


"Yesterday was an incredible day for athletes everywhere. Jason Collin’s courage and leadership in coming out reminds me of how important it is for an athlete to be able to be true to him or herself. I want to support every athlete to feel comfortable and confident being themselves and to make sure that all people - players and fans alike – are welcome and included in tennis.” 

-- Andy Roddick

Why I think this Jason Collins' announcement is as important as the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell


Athletes are some of the idols of our human tribe. But because of the deeply macho and homophobic culture of sports, it has been difficult for gay pro athletes to come out and normalize being gay in locker room.  Jason's size and reputation as an aggressive player will challenge the perceptions of millions of straight men about what it means to be gay, in the same way that seeing openly gay Marines did during the military debate.

And athletes are role models for kids.  Millions of gay teenagers are going to be able to look up to Jason and emulate his pride (in himself), integrity, courage, and achievements.  They are going to be able to say, when times get rough in school, "Things will get better.  I can do it like Jason did." So, he is saving the lives and reducing the suffering of many, many people.

Because Jason told the truth about his God-given sexuality, he and many others will be free to live open and more loving lives.  In the end, love trumps fear.



Thoughtful discussion about the importance of Jason Collins' announcement


Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

The first TV interview of Jason Collins since his announcement



Articulate, reflective, well-mannered, modest, and a team player: a perfect spokesman and role model.

4/29/13

It has finally happened: a male pro athlete comes out. Welcome Jason Collins!


A current pro (basketball) player has come out of the last big closet, the locker room. And he is the perfect player to do it: Jason is known as a "pro's pro" and a graduate of Stanford. His record includes two state high school championships, the NCAA Final Four and the Elite Eight, and nine playoffs in 12 NBA seasons. Read about it here.

4/26/13

Because of our work today, these young gay guys will suffer less and love more. That's a beautiful thing!


A true Christian....in belief and in deed

From the Daily Dish:

This past week in 1945, the Nazis executed the German pastor and theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer for his role in a plot to assassinate Hitler. Marilynne Robinson’s essay collection, The Death Of Adam, contains an essay on Bonhoeffer. An excerpt from it:
The day after the failure of the attempt to assassinate Hitler, in which he and his brother and two of his brothers-in-law were deeply involved, Bonhoeffer wrote a letter to [Eberhard] Bethge about “the profound this-worldliness of Christianity.” He said, “By this-worldliness I mean living unreservedly in life’s duties, problems, successes and failures, experiences and perplexities. In so doing we throw ourselves completely into the arms of God, taking seriously not our own sufferings, but those of God in the world — watching with Christ in Gethsemane. … How can success make us arrogant, or failure lead us astray when we share in God’s suffering through a life of this kind?” These would seem to be words of consolation, from himself as pastor to himself as prisoner. But they are also an argument from the authority of one narrative moment. The painful world must be embraced altogether, because Christ went to Gethsemane.

Darren Criss improvises for equality

4/25/13

Gay pioneers: On May 18, 1970, Jack Bake unsuccessfully applies for a marriage license with his lover, Jim McConnell


Imagine the courage and self-esteem it took to proclaim their love in this wildly homophobic time in America.  Thank you to Jack and Jim for leading the way for all of us...

Two reasons why the Boy Scouts proposed policy to allow gay scouts but exclude gay scout leaders is wrong...

Reason #1: LGBT scout leaders are some of the most caring and committed adults:



Reason #2: Excluding gay scout leaders sends the wrong message to young scouts, that gay people are not to be trusted.

Read Ari Ezra Waldman's opinion piece on this.

Quote of the day, on why the real reason GOP isn't attracting younger voters


And they get great ratings, and they drive the message, and it's really problematic. And this is not on the Democratic side. It's only on the Republican side…[inaudible]. [Democrats have] got every other source of news on their side. And so that is a lot of what's driving it. If you take—Marco Rubio's getting his ass kicked. Who's my Rubio fan here? We talked about it. He's getting destroyed! By Mark Levin, by Rush Limbaugh, and a few others. He's trying to find a legitimate, long-term effective solution to immigration that isn't the traditional Republican approach, and talk radio is killing him. That's what's causing this thing underneath. And too many politicians in Washington are playing coy
--Frank Luntz, GOP messaging guru

It is the revenge of the hateful base and conservative media machine! They are taking Marco Rubio and immigration reform down.  Political hate speech may make for good ratings but it is terrible for good government and policy.

The love that used to be hidden is, thankfully, everywhere now


The good smell of rain explained


From the Smithsonian:

[O]ne of the main causes of this distinctive smell is a blend of oils secreted by some plants during arid periods. When a rainstorm comes after a drought, compounds from the oils—which accumulate over time in dry rocks and soil—are mixed and released into the air. The duo also observed that the oils inhibit seed germination, and speculated that plants produce them to limit competition for scarce water supplies during dry times.

Rhode Island becomes the 10th state to pass marriage equality, with Delaware, hopefully, coming next


Soulful! The other night, I saw Sixto Rodriguez in concert, the comeback star from the 1970's and subject of the Academy award-winning documentary "Searching for Sugar Man"

I won't tell you the amazing personal story of Sixto Rodriguez here, but I encourage you to see the documentary and then catch Rodriguez in concert when he comes to a big city near you.  This man is one of those rare human beings who is not regretful, bitter, or angry about the difficult things that happened to him.  He's got the heart of Boddhisatva and poet, and for me, his music is soulful. Even at 70 years of age.

Here are three of my favorite songs:





4/23/13

A gay christian placekicker wants a place in the NFL

World pride: gay and Singaporean, serving his country


...despite that country's law against sexual relations between the same-sex.

Mea culpa: Like Andrew Sullivan, I feel guilty about supporting the Iraq War 10 years ago and believing the Bush Administration's lies

Despite the overwhelming anti-gay policies of the GOP, two hopeful developments...

Former Congressman and out gay man, Jim Kolbe, testifies in favor of including LGBT couples in immigration reform:



The entire Rhode Island GOP Senate Caucus endorses marriage equality today.

To be sure, most of the GOP leadership is fighting the rights of gay people but I will take any small crumbs of hope that change is near.


France becomes the 14th country to legalize same-sex marriage!


Quote of the day, on Scalia and his bullying problem

“He is unable to distinguish the difference between the “life partner of a homosexual” and ordinary same sex roommates. Has he forgotten that life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are core American values? Every American has the right to a life of meaning, with the liberty to choose who we spend that life with, and to pursue happiness through our sexuality and soulfulness. Justice Antonin Scalia is an old-fashioned bully . . . . I may not have had the strength to stand up to the bullies who taunted me in the fifth grade, but I do now. We do now. Justice Antonin Scalia, the bully on high, we are speaking to you. Do the right thing and be the impartial jurist you swore to the American people that you would be when you took your oath of office. It’s not too late.”
--Steve Warren

4/22/13

Equality is beautiful


Quote of the day on the Boy Scouts' proposed change of policy to allow gay scouts but not leaders



J. Bryan Lowder urges the Boy Scouts to allow gay troop leaders as well as gay scouts:
What message do you think it sends to a gay teenager when the adult version of himself is considered unworthy of being a role model? Indeed, when the official policy feels that he would be a “distraction” to the process of becoming a good adult? Amanda pointed out in her post that the BSA should stop trafficking in the notion that adult gay men are dangerous to youths, as studies have shown time and again that that is not the case. Seconded. But my suspicion is that they already have. What really scares them is not the malign influence of lecherous gay men on boys; rather, it’s the validation, comfort, and hope that having strong gay role models would provide to boys with an identity that the BSA wishes would go away. If the goal is to transform boys into men who are “physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight,” then the BSA must acknowledge that gay men can be all of those things, too.
Via the Daily Dish 

If you are in New York City this Thursday night, you are invited to the opening of my brother-in-law's exhibit at one of the top galleries in the city


If you are in NYC this Thursday night from 6-8PM, you are invited to the exhibit opening of my brother-in-law, Patrick P. Lee, who is my married to my brother Frank Rodriguez, at AMERINGER | McENERY | YOHE gallery, 525 W 22nd Street, New York, NY 10011. The exhibit runs from April 25 - May 25.

Patrick is rising star in the art world.
http://www.amy-nyc.com/exhibitions/patrick-lee_1 

This former bullied Boy Scout with an Eagle badge shares his film-making craft with young scouts. A beautiful story

This past weekend, was the start of my technology sabbath, from Saturday sunset to Sunday sunset...


After a recent spiritual retreat, I decided to take one day off a week from technology and started this new practice on Saturday evening, for 24 hours.  Given that I write a daily blog and have four twitter accounts and all the usual social media apps, I thought this might be difficult to do. But, if yesterday was any indication, I found that this sabbath freed my mine from the small details of the daily news cycle and allowed it to rest.  Mentally, I felt clearer and brighter than normal.

I am going to keep practicing this for the next few months and see what I observe and learn about myself.  (BTW, I was at San Gregario State Beach, yesterday, where the north section is mostly gay.  It has to be one of the most beautiful gay beaches in the world.  60 minutes south of San Francisco.)

Those who insist that gay people are second-class human beings and don't deserve equal rights are contributing to this...


A young gay man was bashed in Nice, France, after the anti-gay marriage forces threatened to respond with violence if marriage equality passed there.  They are fueling homophobia there.

For some, if you don't think someone is your equal, then it is easy to justify whatever you want to do to them, as Jews, women, and other minorities have experienced for ages.

4/18/13

We the LGBT are part of every aspect of society, including being some of the first responders to the bombings in Boston


From Pink News:

Javier Pagan, a Boston Police Department LGBT Liaison (pictured: far right), features alongside two other police officers assisting a fallen marathon runner after the explosions on Monday.

The President tells Boston "You will run again!"

Quote of the day, by Gabby Giffords on the GOP's epic FAIL on background checks

Some of the senators who voted against the background-check amendments have met with grieving parents whose children were murdered at Sandy Hook, in Newtown. Some of the senators who voted no have also looked into my eyes as I talked about my experience being shot in the head at point-blank range in suburban Tucson two years ago, and expressed sympathy for the 18 other people shot besides me, 6 of whom died. These senators have heard from their constituents — who polls show overwhelmingly favored expanding background checks. And still these senators decided to do nothing. Shame on them.

--Gabby Giffords, former congresswoman who was shot in the head in Tuscon

4/16/13

Tomorrow, we defend in the court the first law in the world to protect LGBT youth from gay conversion 'therapies.' Wish us well!


Chana Wilson captures tomorrow's challenge:

Last fall the state of California adopted a ground-breaking bill, S.B. 1172. It was the first in the nation to ban licensed therapists from performing gay conversion therapy on minors under the age of 18. Known by various names -- ex-gay therapy, reparative therapy, sexual orientation change efforts (SOCE) -- conversion therapy's goal is to turn a gay person straight. 
The bill's opponents have filed two separate appeals on the grounds that the law violates the First Amendment right to free speech. On April 17 the Ninth District Court of Appeals will hear oral arguments in Pickup v. Brown and Welch v. Brown. 
Practitioners of conversion therapy employ a variety of methods. Some use aversion techniques, including inducing nausea or vomiting or providing electric shocks when the individual becomes aroused as a result of same-sex erotic images. Others use talk therapy to search for childhood wounds that supposedly led to the patient's homosexual cravings. These therapists may also attempt to address and "correct" gender-nonconforming characteristics. But whatever the techniques, conversion therapy is based on the belief that homosexuality is a pathological and abnormal condition. 
As a state-licensed California psychotherapist, like my colleagues, I am not allowed to subject patients to practices based on discredited views, such as the belief that homosexuality is a mental illness or a pathology. That belief is outdated by four decades; it's been 40 years since homosexuality was removed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders in 1973. 
S.B. 1172 only governs licensed California therapists. It does not apply to ordained clergy or pastoral or religious counselors who are not licensed mental health professionals. They are still free to attempt to "pray away the gay." 
State licensing boards and the courts already enforce speech-based restrictions on mental health professionals: Therapists are barred from false, deceptive or harmful statements. The government absolutely has the power to protect children from treatments by state-licensed mental health professionals that are ineffective, harmful and abusive. In the case of conversion therapy, national mental health organizations of psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers and marriage and family therapists, as well as the American Academy of Pediatrics, have all concluded that efforts to change sexual orientation are both ineffective and harmful. Such treatments can result in anxiety, hopelessness, self-hatred, isolation, increased substance abuse, grief, guilt and suicide.

America at its best...when we are one


A quote for the day after


“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” To this day, especially in times of “disaster,” I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.” - Mr. Rogers

And yesterday, there were a lot of helpers in Boston, who courageously did whatever they had to do, putting their own lives at risk.  Thank you!

Giving credit when it is due: Pope Francis calls out his church for hypocrisy


"Let us all remember this: one cannot proclaim the Gospel of Jesus without the tangible witness of one's life. Preaching with your life, with your witness. Inconsistency on the part of pastors and the faithful between what they say and what they do, between word and manner of life, is undermining the Church's credibility." 

--Pope Francis, at Sunday's Mass in Rome.

No rose-colored glasses here. I am sure the pope still believes that homosexual behavior is a sin.  And he continues to reaffirm the crackdown on U.S. nuns, which is wrong. But I give him credit for calling out his fellow priests in the church.

We need to remember: Margaret Thatcher's speech that led to the first new anti-gay law in 100 years in the UK



And then, this: 
"Pathetically, in her dotage, Baroness Thatcher was led by her supporters into the House of Lords to vote against Section 28's repeal: her final contribution to UK politics. She dies too early to oppose Parliament's inevitable acceptance of same–gender marriage. Thatcher misjudged the future when, according to her deputy chief whip, she 'threw a piece of red meat (Section 28) to her right-wing wolves.' Some of these beasts survive her, albeit de-fanged. When, to take a recent example, a disgraced cardinal delivers anti-gay diatribes, the spirit of social Thatcherism is revealed as barren, hypocritical and now pointless."
--Sir Ian McKellan

No one is all good or bad, but the LGBT community must remember the outrageous discrimination we have faced from Reagan, Thatcher, George W. and others, to make sure it never happens again, and to stop it from happening in other countries today.

4/15/13

Continuing the advocacy of Hillary, Secretary of State Kerry announces a new program to promote the rights of the LGBT throughout the Americas. Thank you


While the GOP reaffirms its policies against the LGBT, the Obama administration promotes full equality of the LGBT through out North and South Americas.
Secretary of State John Kerry has committed to advancing the human rights of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) individuals as a central part of our human rights engagement. Taking into account the Secretary’s commitment as well as the Presidential Memorandum issued December 6, 2011, that directs all federal agencies engaged abroad to ensure that U.S. diplomacy and foreign assistance promote and protect the human rights of LGBT persons, the Bureau of Western Hemisphere Affairs has developed a regional strategy that strives to eliminate violence and discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. 
Respect for the human rights of LGBT persons in the Western Hemisphere varies dramatically by country. Some countries offer legal protections for LGBT persons, whereas others have laws that criminalize same-sex sexual conduct between consenting adults. Recognizing that violence and discrimination based on a person’s real or perceived sexual orientation or gender identity hinder the prosperity of countries.
This change that I can believe in. 

One of my favorite young political pundits, Chris Hayes of MSNBC, is talked about in this New York Times video


Chris' new show "All In" airs right before Rachel Maddow on weekdays.  The New York Times explains why he is a rising star, here.

I was moved by this passage about love...


In the Art of Loving Fromm argued that the phrase “falling in love” was a dangerous misnomer. We did not fall into anything; what we did, once attraction had allowed a relationship to form, was recognize ourselves in the other and then—through affection, respect, and responsibility—work hard to teach ourselves how to honor that recognition. “Once one had discovered how to listen to, appreciate, and indeed love oneself,” Friedman paraphrases The Art of Loving, “it would be possible to love somebody else . . . to fathom the loved one’s inner core as one listened to one’s own core.” In short, the dynamic would induce an emotional generosity that allowed each of us to be ourselves in honor of the other. Once one had achieved this admittedly ideal state, Fromm declared, as he did in every single book he wrote, one could extend that love to all mankind.
--Vivian Gornick, in a  review of a book by Lawrence Friedman on famed psychiatrist Erich Fromm

Via The Daily Dish

On Friday, the GOP reaffirmed its belief that the LGBT are 2nd-class citizens by doubling-down their opposition to marriage equality. They will pay a high price for this in future elections


Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

4/10/13

For all the LGBT people who live in intolerant countries or places, we will keep advocating till all of us are free


Tweet of the day: Uruguay approves marriage equality...the 12th country to offer this fundamental freedom!


As a mom, Michelle Obama reminds America of the moral imperative for Congress to enact universal background checks on gun purchases. She's right!

Quote of the day on social change

The greatest error of almost all important social movements is to look for and follow the politicians for success. The politicians are often the last people to get it. That was the underlying principle behind the marriage equality movement – we would change hearts and minds on the ground first. Then after 25 years of that, we have a sudden Senate majority for equality. In a couple of months. That pattern can tell you a lot.
-- Andrew Sullivan

The power of love

Nothing new: Vladimir Putin lies about Russia's ugly anti-gay propaganda law & homophobic culture


In January, the Russian Duma passed a ban on gay "propaganda" in a 390-1 vote, but, Holland, Vladimir untruthfully states:
"In the Russian Federation - so that it is clear to everybody - there is no infringement on the rights of sexual minorities. These people...enjoy all the same rights and freedoms as everyone else."
-Vladimir Putin

Give that the GOP can't win national elections at the ballot box, it has adopted a treasonous plan to disenfranchise voters. Voting is the essential right of a democracy



This is unbelievable in 2013: the GOP is using its control of state legislatures to suppress voting in future elections.  Americans have died to protect the Constitution and their essential right to vote, the heart of our democratic system.  This is about real patriotism, not the faux patriotism of the Tea Party. 

I also believe that a plan with the intent to disenfranchise voters -- whether they be Democrats or Republicans -- should be treated as a form of treason, on the level of selling national secrets to our enemies. These acts harm our democracy.
SHAME on the once proud party of Lincoln!



4/9/13

I love this internet story and have no idea if it is true or who wrote it...


Photo: A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, "really Mom, I can tell what you're thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more".

About a week later the roommate remarked, "ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?"

He responded, "Well I'm sure she didn't but I will email her and ask just to be sure" he sat down and wrote:

Hey Mom
I'm not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn't take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Your Son.

A couple days later he got a response from his mother:

Dear Son,
I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don't sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.
When are the two of you coming for dinner?
Love,
MomHe felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, "really Mom, I can tell what you're thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more".

About a week later the roommate remarked, "ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?"

He responded, "Well I'm sure she didn't but I will email her and ask just to be sure" he sat down and wrote:

Hey Mom
I'm not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn't take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Your Son.

A couple days later he got a response from his mother:

Dear Son,
I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don't sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.
When are the two of you coming for dinner?
Love,
Mom

This visual is very Jon Stewart....from last night's Daily Show


Quote of the day


We have been so foolish. It's not about gays, it's not about homosexuals. It's about freedom. The reason why they have won is because they've made it about freedom....By not getting it and turning in to it soon enough, you've been painted into the corner of a bigot. That's why they won. Because the principle of it is right. The principle is easy to understand: "Who are you to say?..."
--Glenn Beck


Proud & out Montana state legislator makes a passionate personal plea to decriminalize homosexual behavior in his state

Liberace biopic coming soon from HBO. Here's the trailer...

Pope Francis is shaking up the staid Catholic Church "not just by calls to worship Chirst, but to imitate him"



Read Andrew Sullivan's piece "The Radical Christianity of Francis.  Here is an excerpt:

Deeds over words; love over law. In the end, the way a human being acts is what his or her religion is. And a spiritual leader can say so much more without words, because he is describing something beyond human understanding. In the washing of a young woman’s feet – from another universe of doctrine – you are witnessing the surrender of law to love. You are witnessing Jesus’ constant resurrection in our world – every day, somewhere, in someone, opening up to the sun, like flowers in springtime.

I have mixed feelings about Maggie Thatcher, but, you have to admit, she was a real fighter



The above video captures the spirit of the Iron Lady in her strength and arrogance.

She voted to decriminalize sodomy but passed a law to prohibit the teaching about homosexuality in UK public schools.  On this and many other subjects, she had a complicated record, the results of which are open to debate. But make no mistake, this woman changed the course of her country.

Maybe Andrew Sullivan put it best:

She made some serious mistakes – the poll tax, opposition to German unification, insisting that Nelson Mandela was a terrorist – but few doubt she altered her country permanently, re-establishing the core basics of a free society and a free economy that Britain had intellectually bequeathed to the world and yet somehow lost in its own class-ridden, envy-choked socialist detour to immiseration.

4/8/13

Watch President Obama's emotional plea for universal background checks to help prevent the next Newtown


Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

It's hard growing up gay when you are born into a Mormon family and your dad is a conservative congressman. Matt R. Salmon tells how it gets better...



Here is the back story on Matt and his family.

Our love is beautiful, first-class, and created by Nature!


This is what the opposition to the rights of the LGBT can cause....suffering!


When a group of people are called "second-class", "an abomination", or 'not natural," it makes them a target for those who are angry and full of fear. 

This gay man and his boyfriend were gay-bashed in Paris.



This lone gay Eagle Scout participates in the Phoenix Pride parade, fulfilling the scout's oath of "on my honor I will do my best to do my duty to God and my country...". Thank you


His sign reads "A scout is kind."  Indeed.

Watch Prof. John Corvino take on homosexuality and the Bible. I am reading his book "What's Wrong with Homosexuality?"

NYTimes Bill Cunningham fashion editor talks about how about some young New York City men are reinventing menswear

4/7/13

Soon Terrence Malick's next film "To The Wonder" will debut. Fasten your seat belts for something stunning and ambitious...



Read Michael Leary's decoding of the latest Malick film.

Last night I saw the span of my gay life, from re-watching "My Beautiful Laundrette" to viewing Sonny & Will make out on "The Days of Our Lives"

I had been out only a few years when I saw Daniel Day Lewis play a rough gay punker who is in love with a Pakistan-English former classmate. At 25-years-of-age, I felt the movie "My Beautiful Laundrette" was positive in its portrayal of gay people and I had pretty fond memories of it until I re-watched last night.  Seeing this movie reminded me how much has changed in my life and in the gay movement since 1985. Now, we are no longer hiding our love and ourselves in the shadows, like the gay couple in this movie, hoping for any crumbs of societal and family acceptance.



No, I am not a soap opera fan but I do remember watching "The Days of Our Lives" with my grandmother when I was young.  This isn't my grandmother's soap opera anymore: after seeing My Beautiful Laundrette, I came across the following youtube clip, featuring the show's hunky and proudly out gay couple, Sonny and Will, who celebrate their same-sex attraction and love with passionate kissing and bare-chested scenes.  This soap mirrors the progress that society has made in accepting and mainstreaming gay people.

For three hours, I felt like I was "watching the sands through the hourglass..", the days of my life.




First traditional Zulu wedding for a same-sex couple

4/6/13

Love is in the air


An officer and his new husband.

Zen lesson for today


The one awakened
liberated
sees all things as one
unseparated

--Angelus Silesius

I encourage you to read "Being Gay at Jerry Falwell's University," by Brandon Ambrosino, a writer for The Atlantic


Brandon's story isn't what you might think: an expose of a hateful, anti-gay college controlled by sinister leaders.  Rather, Brandon shows the full humanity of Liberty University, including Jerry Falwell:

Am I trying to convince the world that Liberty is really a gay-affirming school, and that any LGBT student who goes there will have as easy a time as I did? Not at all. For every few really cool students on campus, there's always that one jerk who regularly posts statuses on Facebook about how great Chick-Fil-A is, and how that Muslim Obama wants to turn everyone into a Sodomite. But that student isn't the majority at Liberty, and he certainly didn't feature much into my career there. 
Well, what about Jerry Falwell himself? After all, he did blame 9/11 on the gays. He did make that remark during service about "even barnyard animals knowing better than that." He also did make certain to ban Soul Force, a gay-affirming Christian ministry, from stepping foot on our campus. 
But what about when he opened the Liberty Godparent Home to take in unwanted children? Or when he hosted a forum on campus about homosexuality, and invited 100 prominent gay leaders to take part in the discussion? Or when he would drive around campus every night at lights-out to blow his horn and wave goodnight to all of us students? 
When I think of Jerry Falwell, I don't think about him the way Bill Maher does. I think about the man who would wear a huge Blue Afro wig to our school games, or the man who slid down a waterslide in his suit, or the man who would allow himself to be mocked during our coffeehouse shows. I think about the man who reminded us every time he addressed our student body that God loved us, that he loved us, and that he was always available if ever we needed him. 
I never told Dr. Falwell that I was gay; but I wouldn't have been afraid of his response. Would he have thought homosexuality was an abomination? Yes. Would he have thought it was God's intention for me to be straight? Yes. But would he have wanted to stone me? No. And if there were some that would've wanted to stone me, I can imagine Jerry Falwell, with his fat smile, telling all of my accusers to go home and pray because they were wicked people. 
Many of us view the world as an ugly place with a few beautiful redeeming characteristics. Unfortunately, that's also how we view humans. But what I learned at Liberty was that this idea is the exact opposite of reality: The world and the people in it are really wonderful with just a smidge of ugliness about them. I think the really vocal anti-gay Christians display this smidge, but I also think the really vocal anti-Christian gays display it as well. 
Not tolerating someone for his narrow-mindedness is perhaps the epitome of intolerance. I learned from my time at Liberty that this bigotry happens on both sides: not only were there some Christians who wanted to stone some gays, but there were even some gays who wanted to stone a few Christians. Just the other day, I saw a man driving a car with two bumper stickers. One was a rainbow. The other showed a picture of a lion, and contained the caption "The Romans had it right." Just another open-minded gay man, I suppose.
Having come out in 1982, it is hard to forgive Jerry Falwell given all that he did to harm the LGBT community. Maybe I can forgive him, but I won't forget those things. However, I agree with Brandon's line:
Not tolerating someone for his narrow-mindedness is perhaps the epitome of intolerance.
As an activist I feel I must firmly say "stop" to those behaviors which are causing harm, but to demonize them as men only creates more separation and suffering in this world. Brandon reminds me that I can do better.


Satirist Colbert can't resist commenting on Jeremy Irons' remarks on gay marriage. Hilarious

4/5/13

We are taking our rightful place in America...with love & pride


Remembering Roger Ebert...a wonderful movie critic that everyone could understand

I know it is coming, and I do not fear it, because I believe there is nothing on the other side of death to fear. I hope to be spared as much pain as possible on the approach path. I was perfectly content before I was born, and I think of death as the same state. I am grateful for the gifts of intelligence, love, wonder and laughter. You can’t say it wasn’t interesting. My lifetime’s memories are what I have brought home from the trip. I will require them for eternity no more than that little souvenir of the Eiffel Tower I brought home from Paris.
--Roger Ebert

And one of my favorite movie reviews by Roger:

The Tree of Life
BY ROGER EBERT / June 2, 2011
Terrence Malick's "The Tree of Life" is a film of vast ambition and deep humility, attempting no less than to encompass all of existence and view it through the prism of a few infinitesimal lives. The only other film I've seen with this boldness of vision is Kubrick's "2001: A Space Odyssey," and it lacked Malick's fierce evocation of human feeling. There were once several directors who yearned to make no less than a masterpiece, but now there are only a few. Malick has stayed true to that hope ever since his first feature in 1973. 
I don't know when a film has connected more immediately with my own personal experience. In uncanny ways, the central events of "The Tree of Life" reflect a time and place I lived in, and the boys in it are me. If I set out to make an autobiographical film, and if I had Malick's gift, it would look so much like this. His scenes portray a childhood in a town in the American midlands, where life flows in and out through open windows. 
There is a father who maintains discipline and a mother who exudes forgiveness, and long summer days of play and idleness and urgent unsaid questions about the meaning of things
The three boys of the O'Brien family are browned by the sun, scuffed by play, disturbed by glimpses of adult secrets, filled with a great urgency to grow up and discover who they are. 
I wrote earlier about the many ways this film evoked my own memories of such time and place. About wide lawns. About a town that somehow, in memory, is always seen with a wide-angle lens. About houses that are never locked. About mothers looking out windows to check on their children. About the summer heat and ennui of church services, and the unpredictable theater of the dinner table, and the troubling sounds of an argument between parents, half-heard through an open window. 
Watching the film, I remembered Ray Bradbury's memory of a boy waking up to the sound of a Green Machine outside his window — a hand-pushed lawnmower. Perhaps you grew up in a big city, with the doors locked and everything air-conditioned. It doesn't matter. Most of us, unless we are unlucky, have something of the same childhood, because we are protected by innocence and naivete. 
As I mentioned the O'Brien family, I realized one detail the film has precisely right: The parents are named Mr. O'Brien and Mrs. O'Brien. Yes. Because the parents of other kids were never thought of by their first names, and the first names of your own parents were words used only by others. Your parents were Mother and Father, and they defined your reality, and you were open to their emotions, both calming and alarming. And young Jack O'Brien is growing, and someday will become Mr. O'Brien, but will never seem to himself as real as his father did. 
Rarely does a film seem more obviously a collaboration of love between a director and his production designer, in this case, Jack Fisk. Fisk is about my age and was born and raised in Downstate Illinois, and so of course knows that in the late '40s, tall aluminum drinking glasses were used for lemonade and iced tea. He has all the other details right, too, but his design fits seamlessly into the lives of his characters. What's uncanny is that Malick creates the O'Brien parents and their three boys without an obvious plot: The movie captures the unplanned unfolding of summer days, and the overheard words of people almost talking to themselves. 
The film's portrait of everyday life, inspired by Malick's memories of his hometown of Waco, Texas, is bounded by two immensities, one of space and time, and the other of spirituality. "The Tree of Life" has awe-inspiring visuals suggesting the birth and expansion of the universe, the appearance of life on a microscopic level and the evolution of species. This process leads to the present moment, and to all of us. We were created in the Big Bang and over untold millions of years, molecules formed themselves into, well, you and me. 
And what comes after? In whispered words near the beginning, "nature" and "grace" are heard. We have seen nature as it gives and takes away; one of the family's boys dies. We also see how it works with time, as Jack O'Brien (Hunter McCracken) grows into a middle-aged man (Sean Penn). And what then? The film's coda provides a vision of an afterlife, a desolate landscape on which quiet people solemnly recognize and greet one another, and all is understood in the fullness of time. 
Some reviews have said Mr. O'Brien (Brad Pitt, crew-cut, never more of a regular guy) is too strict as a disciplinarian. I don't think so. He is doing what he thinks is right, as he was reared. Mrs. O'Brien (the ethereal Jessica Chastain) is gentler and more understanding, but there is no indication she feels her husband is cruel. Of course children resent discipline, and of course a kid might sometimes get whacked at the dinner table circa 1950. But listen to an acute exchange of dialogue between Jack and his father. "I was a little hard on you sometimes," Mr. Brien says, and Jack replies: "It's your house. You can do what you want to." Jack is defending his father against himself. That's how you grow up. And it all happens in this blink of a lifetime, surrounded by the realms of unimaginable time and space.

Marriage equality activism...Australian style

Three late night TV shows from this week that reflect the growing societal acceptance of the LGBT





4/3/13

Sweet Swedish cell phone ad features a gay hockey player


Guy 1: "Miss you, Theo Ekenborg [name of a guy]"
Guy 1: "Who's that?"
Guy 2: "It's …"
Guy 2: "It's my boyfriend."
Guy 2: "We're celebrating our … one year anniversary"
Guy 1: "Congrats! One year, that's not easy"
In the end you hear another guy in the background saying "I know who it is. He's damn good looking"

From Towleroad

My friend's young daughter swoons when she receives a letter from Obama. One smart first grader, she wants to be president someday...

Sharing the love that we were blessed with


4/2/13

What a difference this enlightened president makes in lives of the ordinary LGBT citizens

In the Obama years, LGBT people are welcomed through the front door...and on front lawn, as well as serve openly and proudly in his administration.  Not to mention that they benefit from the repeal of DADT, Obama's opposition to DOMA, and his support for marriage equality.  This is what pride, equality, integrity, and love are all about. Obama is the best president that our community has ever had.


From Towleroad.com:

Army Captain Zachary Evans-Nethers and his husband Marshall Evans-Nethers and their kids at today's White House Easter Egg Roll.