11/30/11

Bard wisdom


Have more than thou showest,
Speak less than thou knowest.

--William Shakespeare

Prince William & his wife rescue the British monarchy


Read this piece at the Daily Beast on the UK's truly royal couple.

The train of the future

Vermont's first openly gay Supreme Court Justice



Another Democratic governor does the right thing and makes LGBT history in Vermont.

Tale of two governors: The Minnesota one fights bullying; while the Wisconsin one bullies gays. Recall Scott Walker!

Governor Mark Dayton of Minnesota shows real political and moral leadership on the issue of bullying.


Now, read about the homophobic actions of Governor Scott Walker. This is what happens when Tea Party extremists take over government: gay people lose.

Click here to support the campaign to recall Scott Walker

Bombastic, courageous & often rude, Congressman Barney Frank announces his retirement. Watch him disassemble the phrase "the radical homosexual agenda"

11/29/11

Why Fox News gets (and deserves) no respect

Recent tweets that made me smile



A quick video summary of Pema Chodron's wise book, "The Places that Scare You"



One of Pema big ideas from that book can be summarized as follows:

1. Just notice and observe your destructive habits
2. Interrupt them through physical activity, labeling them or calling them out mentally
3. Do this over and over again.

Jonathan Chait deconstructs liberal disappointment with Obama & Democratic presidents, while understanding why conservatives tend to approve of GOP ones


Read Jonathan Chait's great piece in NY Magazine

A sample paragraph:

Harry Truman has become the patron saint of dispirited Democrats, the fighting populist whose example is invariably cited in glum contrast to whatever bumbling congenital compromiser happens to hold office at any given time. In fact, liberals spent the entire Truman presidency in a state of near-constant despair. Republicans took control of Congress in the 1946 elections and bottled up Truman’s domestic agenda, rendering him powerless to expand the New Deal, as liberals had hoped he would after the war had ended. Liberal columnist Max Lerner decried Truman’s mania for “cooperation” and his eagerness “to blink [past] the real social cleavage and struggles,” attributing this pathological eagerness to avoid conflict to his “middle-class mentality.” (Some contemporary critics have reached the same psychoanalysis of Obama, substituting his bi-racial background as the cause.) The New Republic’s Richard Strout lamented how “little evidence he has shown of being able to lift up and inspire the masses.” The historian Richard Pells has written that in the eyes of liberals at the time, “the president remained an incorrigible mediocrity.”

11/28/11

There appears to be less "high-tech lynching," as Mr. Cain claimed, and more of high-wire lying



At least Bill Clinton had the sense to realize that his affairs were going to be made public during his first run for the presidency and own up to his past misdeeds...Mr. Cain is not that politically savvy.

I am not the ethics policeman for politicians, but when they judge me and tell me that I can not marry because of their narrow interpretations of the Bible, I call them out on their hypocrisy.

To be a warrior...


To be a warrior is to learn to be genuine
in every moment of your life.


--Chogyam Trungpa

The Onion parodies cable news to great effect

Time for Obama to get tough with the obstructionist GOP


“The best way to reach a deal for Obama is to pull out the partisan cudgel and slam the [Republicans] between the eyes repeatedly. They’ll only come to the table if their political brand is damaged. They’re not coming for the good of the country,”

--Norm Ornstein, the American Enterprise Institute, a rightward-leaning think tank

Laying out his proposal in deliberately simple and stark terms, the president told an audience here that if Republicans in Congress vote no, middle-class families will have to pay an additional $1,000 in taxes next year when the temporary break ends.

“Next week, they’ll get a simple vote,” Mr. Obama said. “No, your taxes go up. Yes, you get a tax cut. Which way do you think Congress should vote?”


--NY Times

A great (military) speech on leadership



The General's message: lead or get out of the way.

11/27/11

Dogen-wisdom: "You lack nothing."


You lack nothing. You lack nothing, therefore you practice. Therefore you must realize and manifest this no-lack, this realized life, this awakened life that you are. Manifest the wisdom compassion functioning that you are. To paraphrase Dogen Zenji, if you want to be such a person, as you are such you must do such. You must do this person that you are, then you will be this person that you are.

--Elihu Genmyo Smith

Read this well-reasoned piece by a gay Constitutional attorney on why we are winning the Prop. 8 case despite recent setbacks


The brilliant Ari Ezra Waldman informs us again.

3 reasons that explain why this Congress can't come to terms with our budget. Hint: the GOP has been hijacked by uncreative & anti-government ideologues


In the 1950s and 1960s, federal deficits were relatively small compared to the size of the economy, but even during those flush years, Republican leadership was reluctant to advocate tax cuts. In 1953, for example, Dwight Eisenhower said the country "cannot afford to reduce taxes, reduce income, until we have in sight a program of expenditures that shows that the factors of income and of outgo will be balanced." And when his successor, John F. Kennedy, proposed sharp tax cuts in 1963, the more conservative Republicans in Congress initially opposed them because the cuts would expand the deficit.

--Catherine Rampell

The conservative movement and the Republican Party is so driven now by hidebound orthodoxies that it’s by and large unwelcoming to innovative thinking and creative challenge. This is unconservative, if conservatism is understood as the opposite of ideology...

--Dreher

Finally, for more on this topic, read this opinion piece by David Frum, a former George W. advisor who is repentant about his party bears most of the responsibility for driving this country in the ditch. To be fair, the Democrats had their nadir in the 1970's when it nominated the then extreme George McGovern for President, and went off to the far left. This is a center-center country!

11/26/11

11/25/11

Watch this Australian video that conveys the universal human experience of falling in love and getting married



Via Towleroad

How to stop numbing our anxiety with food


From Tricycle magazine:

When we are able to fully appreciate the basic activities of eating and drinking, we discover an ancient secret, the secret of how to become content and at ease. The Zen teachings talk about the exquisite taste of plain water. Have you ever been very, very thirsty? Maybe you were on a long hike, or sick, or working without a break in the summer heat. When you were finally able to drink, even plain water, you remember how wonderful it was. Actually, each sip of liquid and each bite of food can be that fresh and delicious, once we learn again just to be present.

--Jan Chozen Bays

My tweets with Spain's new prime minister over the future of its marriage equality law


I just got a tweet back from the new conservative Spanish Prime Minister, Mariano Rajoy, about the future of marriage equality law in Spain. He favors repealing the law and replacing it with a civil union equivalent. Spain would be the first country to reverse a marriage equality law, reinstating discrimination. Rajoy's party has appealed the law to Spain's Constitutional Court (TC) and is waiting for its decision.

The right decision is clear.

11/24/11

An oldie but perfect for today...

I am grateful today...for a life rich in connection, meaningful work, adventure, ideas, activism and service

Above are pictures of my cousins, brother and myself in LA last week, at the superb Natural History Museum.

This is from The Dish today:

Jeffrey Froh, a professor of psychology at Hofstra University, did a study in which he asked a group of middle-schoolers to keep “gratitude journals” for two weeks. The kids wrote down a few things they were grateful for every day. A second group of kids wrote down the day’s petty annoyances, and a third group did neither. The students who were made to think about what they had to be grateful for experienced a surge in optimism and a decrease in negative feelings.

This is why I give thanks for 3 random things from my days nearly every night before I go to sleep: it makes me feel better and helps me live my life with more grace and forgiveness.

Some of the things that I am grateful for this year include:

1. Meaningful and interesting work that is helping to make the world a better place as well as helping my clients.
2. Truly being seen and honored by my family and friends, who love me unconditionally.
3. Being a "big brother" to a special young man (and an artist) since 1997. Jase is now 20 and the most lovely person inside and out.
4. A spiritual practice and community that is very much part of my daily life and way of being.
5. Being healthy, ache- and injury-free, and pretty much capable of doing anything physical. And for the health of my friends and family...we all are still here.
6. My home and garden, refugees from my full and energetic days. And trips this year to Palm Springs, LA, New Mexico, Sun Valley, Las Vegas, Portland, Ashland, Phoenix, Pittsburgh, DC, Gettysburg, Virginia, and Ptown.
7. Political leadership and change: I can say that I truly respect my president, my governor (Jerry Brown), and my mayor (Ed Lee). All good men who are leading during difficult and divisive times.
8. Being a LGBT activist who is working with thousands of others and watching the world change around me...for the better. We are winning in this movement for love. While not every battle, we are winning 90% of the time. DADT is gone; more and more companies, churches and government are recognizing our rights; we are winning the battle to condemn and censure anti-gay bullying in schools; LGBT people are part of the most popular TV shows and media and are accurately depicted; we have a president who has done more for our movement than all other presidents combined; and I am watching gay people all across the world stand up for themselves and their love.
9. Having this blog -- to agitate for/against, reflect on, make change happen, express outrage, remind myself of love, debate, express my feelings, connect with others, and stand up for myself and community.
10. You! The 30-50 visitors who come to this site everyday and witness my life, passions, and interests. And some who share their thoughts and ideas with me. With a deep bow, thank you.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

XO Joe

11/23/11

Russian LGBT activists are fighting a proposed law that would make it a crime for people to talk or write about homosexuality



Sign the petition to stop this law.

UC Davis police officer Pike has a mixed record, including heroism and homophobia


While no one is all good or bad, Officer Pike should be fired for brutality and homophobic harassment. Read about it here.

A bow to Newt for his reasoned stance on immigration in last night's debate. But he might have just lost his GOP base. I would like to see him run against Obama. Interesting!

Two straight Spanish men kiss to protest their new conservative government & its promise to rescind the same-sex marriage law



According to news reports: the two men are straight and just friends, and merely protesting against the chance of a reversal of marriage equality in Spain under the new government.

Kudos for GLAAD's "Awkward Thanksgiving" campaign


GLAAD is right: we need to have those difficult conversations with people who know us but normally don't talk about gay-related issues. This is an important way to change society. Check out the campaign.

I know because I created a totally awkward Christmas dinner last year when I formally outed myself and my brother to my parents friends of 50 years. While there were a few heated moments, the conversation was a success and has helped my parents' relationship with this couple.

A strong case for sanctions against Iran vs. military action


Read this NYTimes Op-ed piece. Very wise.

The success of Obama's Asia tour


The cascade of statements, deployments, agreements and announcements from the United States and its regional associates in the last week has to be one of the most unpleasant shocks for China’s leadership — ever. The US is moving forces to Australia, Australia is selling uranium to India, Japan is stepping up military actions and coordinating more closely with the Philippines and Vietnam in the South China Sea, Myanmar is slipping out of China’s column and seeking to reintegrate itself into the region, Indonesia and the Philippines are deepening military ties with the the US: and all that in just one week.

If that wasn’t enough, a critical mass of the region’s countries have agreed to work out a new trade group that does not include China, while the US, to applause, has proposed that China’s territorial disputes with its neighbors be settled at a forum like the East Asia Summit — rather than in the bilateral talks with its smaller, weaker neighbors that China prefers. ... In the field of foreign policy, this was a coming of age of the Obama administration and it was conceived and executed about as flawlessly as these things ever can be.


--Russell Mead

The secret is...


The secret is within yourself.

--Hui-neng

11/22/11

Debunking the false claim that gay men are more likely than heterosexual men to be child abusers

Myanmar begins to open up to the civilized world with promises of democracy...we shall see


Hillary to visit it soon. Article here.

San Diego mayor is a Republican who stands up for LGBT people, including his daughter. I wish there were more GOPers like him


He is now urging Congress to overturn DOMA even while Speaker Boehner spends millions of taxpayer dollars defending this unjust law.

Read about this exceptional man, Mayor Jerry Sanders here.

Racism is alive and well in America...just listen to Rush. Or don't!

Reality check in: According to a new research report, NPR viewers are the best informed about the news and Fox & MSNBC viewers are...


Read it for yourself and draw your own conclusions. MSNBC viewers don't fare too well either. That's why I consider Fox and MSNBC to be more about political theater than real journalism. Watch them for fun rather than facts.

Maine is leading the way on marriage equality...


Maine gets ready to fight for marriage equality again. Hear! Hear!

Read about their steely resolve.

The note handed to Obama in today's town hall meeting in New Hampshire. Amen

The essential prayer: "Thank you"


If the only prayer you say in your life is "Thank you," that would suffice.

--Meister Eckhart

Distortion & reality: Obama


"Did you get the impression from the GOP debates that Obama had lowered taxes? That he had not nationalized but saved the banks? That he had dispatched Osama and Qaddafi? That he had 60 percent support for a sane and succcessful foreign policy? That he was an exemplar of all those social values conservatives say they support: a model husband and father, a black man who has eschewed identity politics almost entirely, a president whose speeches are among the most intellectually Christian of any in modern times? This strange, bizarre hostility to him I put down to displaced anger at Bush, to cultural panic among the old..."

--Andrew Sullivan

Make my 2012: let Cain or Newt be the nominee

"Everyone is equal before the law": an LGBT campaign from Argentina. Unfortunately, in the U.S., we aren't equal in the law due to opposition by social conservatives

11/20/11

A year of San Francisco skies. Beautiful

Penn State scandal exposes old boys' clubs


These Penn State college football men make up a very powerful club, one with lots of prestige, influence, and money. I’ll add that the Catholic Church—infamous for its own pattern of harboring pedophiles—is also an old boys' club, albeit one of a very different sort. There seems to be something distinctly masculine about the type of cowardice that allows one to prioritize loyalty to powerful institutions and friends over protecting children. Can you imagine this many women knowing or suspecting that a child molester was in their midst and not bringing in the police?

--Nicole Rodgers, via The Dish

Gay soldier shares reaction to GOP debate boos


From a story via AP:

Hill watched the debate live from Iraq at 4 a.m. And this is what he asked: "In 2010, when I was deployed to Iraq, I had to lie about who I was because I'm a gay soldier and I didn't want to lose my job. My question is, under one of your presidencies, do you intend to circumvent the progress that's been made for gay and lesbian soldiers in the military?"

Santorum replied that he would reinstitute the ban on open service by gay troops because "any type of sexual activity has absolutely no place in the military."
"What we are doing is playing social experimentation with our military right now. That's tragic," he continued. "Leave it alone. Keep it to yourself whether you are heterosexual or homosexual."

Hill says the fact that he just outed himself on national television had barely registered when he absorbed the boos and Santorum's answer followed by applause.

"When the actual booing occurred, my gut dropped out, because my first inclination was, did I just do something wrong?" he said. "The answer, obviously, wasn't very supportive of gay people, and there was a lot of fear of how the Army would take the question."

These sort of high-handed police tactics against non-violent student protestors are shocking...in Syria or at UC-Davis

11/18/11

This movie, "Like Crazy," really moved me


Meeting & making friends with fear


"Genuine spiritual practice offers a way to face both our inner and outer worlds and to bring these two related realms into living, loving dialogue. Making friends with our fear—tasting it, chewing it, becoming intimately familiar with it—opens a doorway. We can develop an inner strength and confidence not based on the ups and downs of our contemporary world with its 24/7 rhythm of getting and spending. In the midst of outer and inner famine, violence, intolerance, and cowardice, the Natural Bravery approach invites you to walk the path of courage along with our spiritual ancestors, the brave women and men throughout history who have manifested..."

--Gaylon Ferguson, Daily Dharma for November 18, from Tricycle.com

Governor Scott Walker of Wisconsin is a foe of gay people: he actively governs in a way that restricts our rights. He should be recalled

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy


This anti-choice and anti-birth control governor doesn't want gays to have visitation rights in hospitals (fortunately, this made moot by a recent Obama administration directive that bans this form of discrimination) or be allowed to register as domestic partners or get married. He is pandering to his base, social conservatives in the Tea Party who were the driving force in his election. Read about it here.

Wisconsin has a history of electing progressive Democratic and Republican governors who are genuinely supportive of the civil rights of all its citizens, including LGBT ones. Wisconsin residents made a big mistake this time. To help recall Governor Walker, you can donate to the campaign here. As we have learned, homophobic politicians like Scott only take us seriously when we stand up for ourselves -- with votes, money, and moral authority.

Two forces that are fighting the anti-gay bullying of social conservatives, in the U.K. & U.S.

A UK-based group that teaches tolerance of LGBT people by kids of all backgrounds, including those that are Islamic or Christian.



And Chris Armstrong, the first openly gay student body president at University of Michigan, whose family has started a scholarship fund for students who have been bullied. Chris was stalked and bullied by a former assistant attorney general for the state who is a conservative Christian.

11/17/11

What does California Supreme Court's latest decision on Prop. 8 mean?

The essential question: "What is this?"


"As you sit or walk in meditation, you ask constantly, “What is this?” Repeating this question develops concentration because it returns you to the full awareness of the moment. As soon as you become aware of being distracted by past events, anxieties about the present, or future dreams, you ask “What is this?” This way, the power of questioning dissolves distraction."

--Martine Batchelor
Daily Dharma for November 17, 2011 An excerpt from A Refuge Into Being

Mitt Romney on Libya? Ever-shifting like its desert sands


From ABC News:

Position 1: Obama was weak in not doing this sooner

Position 2: On April 2, Romney traveled to Las Vegas to speak to the Republican Jewish Coalition, where he attacked the president’s foreign policy in the Middle East.

Position 3: Obama is being too aggressive

Position 4: After Gadhafi fell: Hooray! Now release the Lockerbie bomber"


Imagine him on the protection of LGBT rights?

Why America is making bullying socially unacceptable

Losers from Everynone on Vimeo.

11/15/11

The wisdom of Dorothy Rodham, Hillary's mom


"Life is not about what happens to you, but about what you do with what happens to you."

--Dorothy Rodham

The Smiths are covered for this sweet Xmas ad

History repeats itself: many of the states with marriage equality/civil union laws were leaders in the anti-slavery movement


This is another reason why we and the U.S. Supreme Court need to help out our LGBT community in the South. Southern society, organized along English feudal lines, tends to change slowly compared to the rest of the country.

Some Americans of the Year: Gabby & Mark


From Esquire:

In space, Kelly had received further instruction in catastrophe. On his third trip into orbit, he had delivered a part to the International Space Station, where the residents needed badly to fix their broken toilet. His previous flight had been only the second after the Columbia disaster. Astronauts understand: Something always goes wrong. On the day his wife was shot, during the torturous flight that Kelly, his mother, and his daughters from a previous marriage made from Houston to Tucson, there were twenty minutes when he thought he had lost his wife for good. He was flying on a friend's private plane, and he had turned on the TV to watch reports of the shooting. "It was a terrible mistake," he said later. In the chaos, someone said that his wife was dead. His mother practically screamed, he remembered after; his daughters cried. Kelly retreated to the bathroom. "I just, you know, walked into the bathroom and, you know, broke down," he said. Eventually, he managed to get through to someone at the hospital, and he found out then that Giffords was, in fact, alive. "As bad as it was that she had died," Kelly said, "it's equally exciting that she hadn't."

Of course, Gabby inspires me!



Savage: being a straight man comes with baggage


"[H]eterosexual male identity — and in America I don’t want to get too pointy-headed about it, but it’s really this package of negatives. You know, to be a straight guy is not to be a woman and not to be a faggot and so it doesn’t really leave you much room to maneuver. If there’s anything about your interests or personality that can be remotely perceived as feminine or faggoty, you have to kill it or people won’t believe you’re straight or you’ll be tormented — you know, questions for the rest of your life."

--Dan Savage

I love stories like this one: America's youngest gay mayor, Democrat Alex Morse, at 22

The long-time emotional cost of being sexual abused, especially when others don't help


A blogger speaks about his experience:

"As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, at the hands of a family member, and witnessed by another who did not intervene and who said nothing: THANK YOU. What that child most needed in that moment was rescuing, and McQueary turned his back on that. I remember that particular moment so intently; that someone who could have rescued me, whom I trusted, chose not to (and it was a choice). The lasting impact on my life has been a feeling that I was not worth helping."

Huntsman sizes up his GOP rivals

Despite his desire to help heal the country over Iraq, Obama was morally wrong not to persecute Bush officials on their use of torture


"When President Obama let all those Bush-era officials off the hook, when he didn't push for indictments or even Congressional hearings on the topic, he famously said that he wanted to look forward, not back, on the debate over torture. Even though some civil libertarians warned that such magnanimity would backfire on the president, Obama was generally heralded at the time for not putting the nation through the agony of serious self-reflection. Legal and political accountability took a back seat to convenience; we all took the easy way out."

--Andrew Cohen via The Dish

Amazing: Nobel Peace Prize winner Leymah Gbowee talks about leading war protests that resulted in the end of the Second Liberian Civil War


This second part is a lesson in forgiveness.

11/14/11

"Notice our imperfections & interdependence with all life"


"There'’s no practice a person can specifically do to attain perfect awakening, whether it’s meditation or trying to follow precepts. Of course these are good practices, but we can never totally free ourselves of our blind passions. If we believe we can do it this way, the calculation is a reflection of our ego-selves. Instead, we can be mindful of the dharma as we go about our lives. Then we notice our imperfections, but rather than becoming frustrated by our inability to rid ourselves of these shortcomings, we notice that our interdependence with all life also brings us kindness and joy, unconditionally."

–--Reverend Patricia Kanaya Usuki, "The Great Compassion" From Tricycle

The language of anti-gay bullying...in Dutch

11/13/11

Obama knows how to behave on an aircraft carrier, with honesty and dignity

I am reading this inspiring story about the Kosciuszko Squadron, a group of Polish pilots who were critical to the British's success during the Battle of Britain


My friend Phil shared with me this uplifting book with me about this obscure group of fighter aces from WW II. The Poles did much to save the British Isles from the Nazis, but were betrayed by Churchill and FDR in the end, when they let Stalin impose a Communist regime in Poland after the war. Tragic.

The love of these Poles for their country and people makes for good reading. I want to go to Poland!

The beauty of it all...continued